Published on 12, July, 2020
I struggle to advocate for myself in the workplace. I have to deal with things like using multiple documents at once or doing things with multiple steps which is hard with executive functioning issues. I have lists of what to do, but I still make mistakes sometimes, not least because I don’t always remember to look at the lists. I also have to make and take phone calls occasionally. Periodically, there are days when I have to make a lot of important and very difficult phone calls, which means dealing with social anxiety, spoken word processing issues, telephone issues and problems talking to people and remembering the correct responses or even problem solving on the spot. That doesn’t happen too often, thankfully, but it did last week.
I feel uncomfortable with this aspect of the job, but I’ve had long periods of unemployment and don’t want to risk losing this job, which in other ways is good (relatively high pay considering the hours and workload; a very understanding and laid-back boss). When I try to think of possible adjustments, autistic rigidity kicks in and I feel like there are no adjustments I can ask for that would be both reasonable and useful. I don't feel that asking not to use the phone is reasonable, given my contract. I actually don’t know what reasonable adjustments I would like, I just know that I feel a certain level of depression and anxiety in the workplace, not to mention feelings of inadequacy and overwhelm. I just feel I have to deal with it somehow or lose the job.
I would be grateful for any possible suggestions.
Hi Luftmentsch,
I'm sorry work is challenging for you.
I'm not able to ask for adjustments either, and so I'm sorry that I have no solutions to offer you.
I recently purchased a thumb stone, also called worry stone or anxiety stone. You hold it in your hand and rub it with your thumb. I have found it takes the edge off my anxiety. I've researched other methods for reducing anxiety at work, unfortunately for me, they are not something I could do.
I really hope you find positive ways of coping at work.
Thanks. I'm sorry you can't ask for adjustments either. It is difficult when there doesn't seem to be a solution.
I might try taking a stress ball to work and seeing if that helps, similar to your anxiety stone.
I've gone back to researching coping strategies for autistic people at work. And they all seem to assume that everyone will be in an environment that supports autistic traits such as stimming, and would allow sensory toys and items. I will keep trying for ideas. If you come across any, I would be grateful to know.
Me apparently. Because I have no idea why I replied with that.
A better answer would be: I will see how things go, perhaps I can work out ways of making my work environment a little more comfortable, or perhaps I need better recovery methods to use at home.
What doesn't make any sense?
It doesn't make sense at all.
It's always darkest just before dawn. Stick with it and see what's round the next corner; it probably won't be any worse, at least.
I've been tearing myself apart with question of whether I stay or go.
I agree. Sometimes the places which are most understanding of children's differences are least understanding of adult differences. I don’t get the inconsistency either...
Keeping your diagnosis a secret is crazy and so sad. They should be proud to present an autistic role model to the children.
Regardless they should and could still provide reasonable adjustments, without needing to publicly announce them to everyone.
If you keep masking so much you will burn out eventually. Coping strategies might delay it a bit but there will come a point when you can't function anymore.
In your situation I'd be looking for another job, somewhere more inclusive and supportive.
Thank you, so much.
It does send my head in a tail spin. "Autistic children are valued here, are an important part of society, are wonderful and capable, but shhh, don't tell anyone you're autistic, they won't understand. "
Ugh. I can understand, I have had similar work situations, although not for so long.
Please be kind to yourself! It takes a long time to adjust to a late autism diagnosis. It's nearly two years since mine (and I thought I was autistic for some time beforehand) and I feel like I'm still adjusting. That's sad that you have to hide your diagnosis even though you work with autistic children.
Thank you!