Everyone's a little bit autistic...

That old chestnut! We aren`t all on the spectrum. It IS bugging as heck! TC, J.

In my teens I had honestly thought that I was gay and what I’m getting from this thread is that many of the (similar) issues about autism I’ve been hearing within the gay/LGBT community for years are starting to appear in discussions about autism - there was also a survey done a while back and it showed that a certain percentage of LGBT people also have autism/ASD and vice versa 

What I find particularly irritating about that particular sub-category of dismissal is their assumption that I can't REALLY be autistic because I'm not like their autistic nephew (why is it always a nephew?!). Well, of course I'm not. I'm not seven, or a boy.

Before my diagnosis just after Covid, I’d been supporting the Irish truth and patriot movement, as an Irish Catholic Patriot during Covid back home from here in the U.K. as ‘I’d not been able to go home to family in Ireland, having been made redundant from my last supermarket job after 17 years in Sept 2019 - I’m still helping the movement when I get home from work, but during times of stress, I had taught myself to pray the Rosary in both Latin and in my native Irish Gaelic language, as I’m immensely proud of my Irish heritage, culture and traditions, so much worth preserving for future generations 

And people who have relatives or friends with the condition turn out to be the most ignorant and arrogant, even if they have family members who work in the area of mental health - they make arrogant assumptions and get a sick pleasure in pushing those with autism into a meltdown 

I think there are definitely overlaps between AS and ADHD. It's not just finding it difficult when there's too much going on externally but also when too much going on internally. I can get fixated on things but at the same time it can feel like chaos in my head. Much like actual real life tasks, there's difficulty knowing where to start with thoughts.  So it all swims around. I'm going be starting ACT soon, I'm hoping this will give me some tools.

Also, often, even when I wake up, I don't feel rested in the brain. Then it's like "here we go again". Everytime I stirred last night, I had a mixture of repetitive thoughts from 2 tv shows from earlier in the day and an advert jingle all vying for attention. This happened everytime I woke up as soon as I woke up.

The closest I've got to an off switch without "plant medicines" has been mindfulness and mefitation but it takes commitment. I've just absorbed myself in an interest and that has kept me nicely present. Although sometimes,  even the hyper focus of things I enjoy then make me exhausted and its only when I stop that I realise.

The Chris Packham programme this week should be interesting.

 I sometimes watch people sleeping, I would just love to have an off switch. I sometimes wonder if I have adhd. The autistic side of me wants order, the adhd side wants to run amok over everything. I’ve used alcohol since I was 16, it doesn’t really work anymore and obviously I know it’s doing me no good. We get this high functioning label, I would love someone to explain why I sometimes struggle to function at all.

Thanks for all the responses! So I've tried the biting my tongue and on Saturday I tried the let's give some minor examples, neither of which works.  So based on the discussion I've come up with this, which might be a bit wordy so depending who they are I might just go with Tamsyn's suggestion

"I appreciate your comments were trying to be supportive.  However, I find the expression ‘everyone is a little bit autistic’ unhelpful and some people would likely say they had no autistic traits.  Yes, there is a wider population where some people have autistic traits out of which for some, the traits have significant enough an impact on their life for them to be considered autistic.  My autism has led me to be signed off work and to leave at least 2 (possibly 4) jobs in addition to volunteer roles, as well as causing issues with personal relationships.  Recognition of my diagnosis, helps me to identify and get the support that I need."

Unknown said:

The easy things I find difficult and the difficult things I find easy."

Oh yes indeed, I can identify with that.

Well said, retired-user.

Ben

I don't do any social media but I think stuff like tik tok showing AS as "cute" or "quirky" can also undermine experience. For most people we are just getting on with our normal lives and dealing with the mental health aspect that comes along with AS. 

"The easy things I find difficult and the difficult things I find easy."

I think what you say here is true for a lot of people. It doesnt always have to be dark depression and despair. Sometimes it's just wanting the brain to stop. It often does feel the more something gets goung in my head, the more momentum it gets, which makes it harder to stop. 

I have found illicit substances also work on a very moderate basis to give ones brain a holiday. They shake up the snow globe and allow everything to resettle.

Obviously, from the application of common sense, there must be people with autistic traits that do not quite meet the guidelines for diagnosis. So while saying that 'everyone is a little autistic' is incorrect, the phrase 'some people are a little autistic', is correct.

You have pretty much summed up a normal day for me. My day started at 2am, Blondie is playing Dreaming on loop in my head, unfortunately I wasn’t dreaming. Listened to podcasts until 7am when it’s then time to get up, that’s while I’ve also done all of today’s tasks in my head. Sorry missed out anxiety, always present as well. Anxiety is the gift that keeps on giving.

my mother has made repeated suicide attempts throughout my life, always sleeping tablets, she only told me recently that she never wanted to die, in her words,” I just wanted it all to stop.”

Autism does give me strengths to do  tasks that normies  struggle with, unfortunately Mother Nature has to address the balance and take something else.

battybats

Absolutely ! 

Most folk have very little knowlege of ASD....... but do they realise that, or do they think they know it all?

Ben

Pikl said:

I wish there was a way to just make it stop.

Cannabis works for me. Especially at "bedtime" when I'm not tired and the endless noise in my head won't let me sleep. I also find it makes me less intense, which helps a lot in social situations.

Having said that, I'm currently not smoking, as an experiment. It seems to be going ok, but I'm sleeping longer and feeling less rested which makes me think my brains still going whilst the lights are out

I think I'd have more patience for "everyone's a little bit autistic" if it was accompanied by the knowledge that autistic traits are more common than autism itself, and the understanding that having one or two autistic traits isn't the same thing as having enough of them to actually be autistic. Without that context, it just feels like the person is seeing me as a quirky nerd rather than somebody who has genuine struggles with things they find easy.

I rarely have this or similar kinds of problems; possibly due to the blue bangle, the bigger-than-my-house 'AUTISTIC PERSON' sticker on my door, the garish giant badge, the t-shirt with 'AUTISTIC' printed on it, the revolving bobble hat with 3D neon lettering and disco lights etc etc. I'm like an autistic mascot or sandwich board.

I've started by replying: 

I understand that you're trying to be supportive with that statement, but actually it's not helpful.  It's a bit saying that you understand how a blind person must feel because your eyes are blurry when you first wake up in the morning.  Being autistic affects all of my interactions and my day to day life profoundly.

Unknown said:

Everyone probably is a bit in different ways. Human experience is a spectrum. However, do these factors cause everyone problems? Probably not. And the problems or difficulties that are there may come from a different source. I think people saying this comes from a place of trying to be empathetic but it often comes across as undermining the autistic experience. I like to use the cake analogy. You might have some eggs and butter but that does not make a cake.

Or in genetic terms:

Almost all genetic risk factors for autism spectrum disorders (ASDs) can be found in the general population, but the effects of this risk are unclear in people not ascertained for neuropsychiatric symptoms.

https://www.nature.com/articles/ng.3529

So you are quite correct with your description and analogy.

The basic theme is that every human being has the same basic building blocks genetically, i.e., Cytosine (C), Guanine (G), Adenine (A) and Thymine (T) ~ with neurologically typical people being therefore the least autistic in genetic terms, neurologically atypical people being more autistic, and neurologically divergent people being the most autistic ~ if not entirely autistic to lesser or greater extents in diagnostic terms.

Thus there can be or is more usually a massively significant difference between being on the autistic spectrum; and being on the autistic diagnostic spectrum.

Joe, when people say things to us like "we're all on the spectrum",  or in Roy's case "you don't look autistic", I think it is because they feel a little awkward and just want to say the right thing. They have been put on the spot and certainly don't mean  to offend us; they think their comments are 'safe' comments.

Ben