Published on 12, July, 2020
This isn’t a criticism, just an observation. In fact my heart goes out to those prone to doing it as they seem to be experiencing a particular form of autistic ‘blind-spot’ that may leave them feeling isolated and unheard when really they’ve just been shouting into the dark without realising.
The phenomenon in question: basically someone newish to the forum sensibly browses for threads on topic x rather than start a totally new thread. But as they read through, they hone in on one point made by one user and reply to it, asking a question of them perhaps. In many cases, that user has not been around for quite a while, but the new person seems unaware of this statistical likelihood and Unless one of us points it out they are left like a tree falling in the forest. One of us will maybe spot their comment and help them out by pointing out that no response will ever come. But other times we might just be confused why an old thread has bobbed up to the surface and can’t see the recent comment buried among the old ones.
I have not practical advice to offer. It just makes me feel a bit wistful and sad for the person with that vulnerability to not factoring in the passage of time. Does anyone get that poignant feeling about it all? It makes me sad. Not just for the ‘ignored’ person but for the many lost ‘ghosts’ who we may one day be sooner than we intended. I miss everyone in advance, all the time. And complacency in this place will never take hold as departures of both kinds recently, (as well as more mayfly forum existences) will not be the last. I like and appreciate everyone who’s here, even if they’re just quietly sitting ‘at the back’ - all losses are felt keenly. Best wishes to all.
I'm not sure you are quite correct in that assessment sir/madam/ad nauseam.
Most likely most of us could be described like that
Maybe. Maybe my brain (like StarTrek's Vulcans) switches between logical and emotional states. But being in the emotional one isn't fun, if I'm crazy now, multiply it thousand times, like a fully fledged lunatic fresh out of asylum.
Have you ever seen pictures of artists of old? They all look a bit disheveled, eyes shinning mad, so I reckon they felt like they looked or more, in order to create.
That is a gift, in my opinion.
Not really. I believe a "Boomer" is someone who is out of touch, a bit remedial, not up to date, a bit of a "dad-dancer", a door handle, S P O O N S
Nice to see you back
Number said:Boomer
Battlestar Galactica fan? I met few hopelessly in love with her
You are not. It's just that we are all as odd, fragile and daft as you.
Welcome - I've been on sabbatical.
I haven't been around on these pages for that long - about 6 months actively. I that time, generally, I think the community manages to catch many of these "shouters in the dark" reasonably well. It isn't a full proof system, but normally some calm eyes and fingers will flash up to say hi. Not perfect - so lets just all keep our eyes open - we know what it felt like. #Spread the love [I've absolutely no idea what that hashtag thing means, - probably takes you to some dodgy porn site - so caveat emptor FYI I've never visited a Twitter Snap Tik Bot Tok Page in my life! [INSERT Boomer emoji with sledgehammer furiously smashing the interweb.]
All forums tend to have their inner circles. I'm always stuck on the outer circle.
Thank you. I can't do it. I'm not in control when it happens. It just happens, when it's impossible to contain my feelings
Wow. That’s powerful. You have a real gift for poetry!
I’m sorry that happened and that you felt that way. I suppose in a way that’s my concern- the one that made me start the thread. That sensitive and easily disheartened souls are being missed in the maze.
No, I really like that this thread has turned into something different from what the original post was about, but still connected. And that’s a lovely story. Misreading people is always such a shame, but when the chance isn’t missed to redress it that’s a great thing, and inspiring too.
Yes. I've noticed it as well, but until they say more, I don't know what to tell them, I'm not a person doing ''Hello''s.
But I know how it feels to reach out and finding nobody there to give you a hand, or to see it happen to another.
I titled it ''Awful truth'':
Botomless sadness drowns me today
To see my mirror image strangled
In his unwilingness to give up
to his last breath trying futily reach out
His calls for help returned like an echo
words sharp as razor cuting my heart open
bleeding out knowing the awful truth
neither his nor mine are to be answered
That’s true. I live a reclusive life partly for that reason. Though I also need the space. Which is just as well because that’s what I’ll alway be given plenty of!
I replied to a thread about 2e. Got totally ignored. Feel like an outcast.
Yes, it is hard. I lost a friend to suicide a few months ago and still think about her a lot. I never even met her, it was an online friendship via our blogs, but she lives on in my mind -- which is good, but bittersweet. As T. Rex sang, "Deep in my heart/There's a house/That can hold/Just about all of you."
At least you haven’t given up :) I have, it’s far easier to not get close to people, then it doesn’t hurt when they go.
That said, I used to be part of a very large forum a long time ago. There is a Facebook group where some of us found each other again. And whilst we have found out about people passing away, there are the odd few that I got to know well (or I thought I did) that I have no idea where they are now. But everything has changed and although some of us found each other we no longer talk. It was more of a quick catch up. Though one in particular I still wonder about. Because we didn’t exactly get on when I first joined, in fact he positively hated me. But after a few months maybe even years we one day messaged each other. And it turned out both of us were reading each other completely wrong. We really got on well after that. Sorry, went off on one there…