Blank stare/freezing when anxious

That sound like something that happens to me, not often, but sometimes something will just hugely throw me off track with my train of thought or what I'm doing and it's like I need a moment while the gears are slipping before I can pick up where I left off or deal with whatever the new thing is.

I might first ask if she's being interrupted, even in her imagination. 

Suppose you open a computer doing a great deal of background tasks and you try opening and operating a large programme - it might just freeze up. 

Autistics and ADHD have a few similar cool 'processing effects' which can cause external delays. We tend to have this wild imagination making all kinds of seemingly discreet connexions and sense-perceiving the world as 'too real' due to less ability to dull our senses. If too much is happening internally and too many external (and internal) factors are hitting our senses all at once, when asked to make a quick transition, we might appear frozen.

All children need transition time. With autistic children, you might not sense the Whole Other World happening in their imagination and so not realise they need to be asked: 1. Can I ask you a question or are you in the middle of something? 2. When you're ready, I have a few things for you to help me with - no rush, but find me when you're done. 3. Or Assign a set amount of time: I'll pop back in 5 minutes. 

A different dentist is tricky. That's a very intimate space, one's mouth! It can take years of practice with a martial arts or movement/yoga group to learn to breathe through a process.

Last minute things can feel like being ambushed. They can feel like being hit from behind. Interruptions are possibly the Most Difficult and if possible, should be only matters of grave consequence, as they can cause immediate Fight/Flight/Freeze Stress response which is harmful for the human biology. Most things in life can be afforded a little time to transition. It can take me hours after socialisation to get back to work, and if I don't take it I tend to mess things up, which has worse consequences finically. The other side of this coin is Hyper-Focus and Flow State, which is usually what is being interrupted. I'm not sure there's a yogi on Earth who approves, nor CEO.

With children, practice reinforcing only doing one thing at at time: whether walking up/down stairs, finishing making a tea (not also loading the dishwasher and tidying up - one thing per moment), or doing homework. In order to thrive, allow them time to plan and time to get lost in the moment. 

It sounds like a protective mechanism to me when she is getting overwhelmed... I don't experience this personally- my default response to being asked to do something etc is to just say a default yes and agree... which can also result in challenges... I think it's probably her way of dealing with being overwhelmed. 

It sounds like situational mutism.  There's lots of information about it from autistic people, and a good chunk of it available in this link:

stimpunks.org/.../

Hi, I am aware of a tendency I have to ignore (particularly social) situations that I don't expect or understand. Think "rabbit in the headlights", I will freeze when confronted with a situation that I don't know how to handle, and remain frozen until the situation either changes or goes away (I have a limited ability to change things myself if there is more than one person present).

I regularly fail to notice people that I know when I see them in places I don't expect - this is a joke amongst my friends, but I'm concerned that I offend those who don't know me so well. I will often remember that I've seen said person after the fact when it is impossible to rectify the situation. However, I will always look for them in that place whenever I am there again as an automatic defence.

This is one of my behaviours that I find hardest to deal with; I hate the thought that I am causing hurt or offence, or that people might think me rude.

If your daughter is experiencing something similar, perhaps offering a new stimulus will help - asking a different question or changing the situation slightly to help her get back on track.

She's very lucky to have you xxx

Hello.  If you can tolerate an attempt at humour from me [don't worry, I will hopefully say something useful shortly].....It sounds like I might be related to your daughter !!

May I recommend that you take a look into the backwaters and shaddowy world of a PDA profile.  This is one of those "conditions / profiles / things" that is broadly misunderstood, misinterpreted, dismissed and belittled as "not being a real thing."

I can say, with considerable authority, it is a thing.  It is THE most frustrating and inexplicable that I have ever know.  It is bizarre, unpredictable and uncontrollable.  All this, from a 50+ year old man who is immensely self controlled (albeit at considerable cost to my soul and energy levels.)

PDA is a thing.  It is in adults, children, teenagers and old people........but word of advice, don't tell anyone that you believe what I have written above.  They will tell you it is all nonsense - and frankly, in more ways that one, I'm an unreliable nut job !?

I wish you good luck with your investigations, and it bodes well for your daughter that you are taking the time to look for alternative thoughts and ideas on these challenges.

You're a good Catlady31.  [normally I would say Mum, but these days, someone will shoot me if I gender you?!]

With my genuine best wishes.

x

Catlady31

I believe that what you are describing is called 'dissociation'.   It's either something similar to a shutdown... or maybe just another name for  the same thing, I'm not sure.   Is a shutdown, perhaps, longer lasting?

Maybe other forum members can add to that.

Ben

Hi Roy, thanks for your reply, it's really helpful.  I'm trying to understand more about things to help her more.  

Hi, I do exactly the same, a task or situation just becomes too overwhelming. I have done the same when under stimulated, my brain will freeze, sometimes 10 minutes can pass and I have no recollection of that time. Speech is always the first thing to go, it’s the thing I need least so it’s expendable. The dentist is where I’ve really been anxious before, I had some teeth removed as a child, it ended with quite a long hospital stay. I had severe dehydration and didn’t talk for days. To me they are shutdowns, most probably with age we just learn to control them slightly better. Sorry I can’t be more helpful,