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Monotropic thoughts?

sphynx

Hi everyone, 
I've struggled for years with constellations of persistent thoughts centred around particular topics. They're often unhealthy - for example when they're focused for weeeks around particular people I really care about who can and will never feel the same way about me. At times these thoughts stop me from focusing on other things that need my attention, because I can't shift my mind from its topic. Is this monotropism? I'm wondering if anyone here has found strategies that have helped with shifting the 'stuckness' of the thoughts? Thanks in advance for any ideas.

Parents

  • I've experienced the same things myself.  Wjat helps me us indulging my focussed interests.  They are the only thing that absorbs me enough to take me away from that unhealthy fixations.

    And sometimes I just let myself go through the thoughts, knowing that they are transient and don't signify as much as they feel like they do at the time.

  • in reply to Glitter
    Glitter said:
    Wjat helps me us indulging my focussed interests. 

    The only other solution I found is to cut off the source,

    But since you said you care about the source a lot, it's out of question

    why it happens? apparently it makes us anxious for one of many reasons, most often it's uncertainty, we don't know what to expect and we know we will have to face it again

    your case it's probably questioning your reasoning because they don't return your affection, why they don't? maybe you shouldn't invest so much into them?

    maybe it's our subconscious mind warning us about source? Double empathy often makes our conscious  judgement in regard to motivations of others incorrect.

    I reckon putting oneself forcefully to sleep would work too, but I don't want to take sleeping pills

  • in reply to Mariusz

    Regarding your point about double empathy, they're both either confirmed or have high likelihood of being autistic, so (my imposter syndrome aside) that doesn't really apply. Why they don't return my affections is a complicated one, too big to open up here. I don't think I'm choosing to invest this much in them. But at the same time, they're amazing people who deserve to be valued in this way. One of them I can't cut off for complex reasons, and the other I could but don't know how, and don't want to risk the potential consequences. (Apologies, this is intentionally vague.) Not sure if that makes sense? Sorry, I'm conscious of rejecting everyone's suggestions and want to be clear that I do really appreciate all your input.

  • in reply to sphynx

    Thank you. It feels nice to be useful.

    I didn't take them as too harsh or too dismissive, only indicating that I forgot to add that my were rhetorical Stuck out tongue

  • in reply to Mariusz

    Sorry Mariusz, just reread my response to you above and realised it was quite harsh and dismissive. That wasn't my intention. You gave me some good questions to reflect on, and I'm sorry I didn't realise they were rhetorical. Encouraging reflection is great, keep doing that :) 

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