Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sorry you are dealing with all of this. It's very difficult. I had to deal with a very similar situation.
My advice is to sit down with her and tell her that you love her. Then tell her how difficult all of this is for you. The way she is behaving is making you feel that you are in a very unstable relationship and it is very hard to manage. At the same time, your kids need both parents and they recognize the instability as well. It is not good for anybody. Ask her to please go through autism screening and that you will accept the results and will apologize profusely if the results are negative. Based on your writing, this sounds like my wife and I recognize so many things from my life.
If she refuses, tell her that you're going to need to end the relationship. It's going to be expensive and cause both of you grief but this is incredibly unhealthy and unfair for you. You deserve a healthy life with a partner that you love. My wife and I fought for years and she continually did things that caused friction in our relationship.
If she accepts the testing and the results are positive, tell her that you want the two of you to attend counseling for neurodiverse couples and that you would like her to seek help for herself. This is the only thing that held my marriage together. Her acceptance and seeking help to learn to live in a married relationship and interact with me saved us.
I would not recommend taking the bullet and dealing with the same behavior for the rest of your life. Life's too short for this. You two do it together as a team or you let her go and take care of your kids. Find peace and love without her because you won't get it with her if you continue the way you are going.
Good luck!
Hello 91971.
That is a VERY strong opening post......and yet I watched you disappear EXACTLY 5 minutes after posting your contribution......on a thread that is over 1 year old.....but your soul was only interested for 5 minutes.....whether you got any sort of reaction to such a heart-felt post by yourself?! I find that non-autistic and non-allistic and non-conceivable......for a true sentient being, of the types I understand!
Based on my census - of activity of this site - this fits a very predictable pattern of behaviour - for a particular type of "soul" herein.
So, in accord with my modus operandi, in these instances, I would be very grateful if you could simply send an acknowledgement to this response to your post. I would be grateful for ANY type of response.....even if it just a "fook-off weirdo"....which I would happily receive.
Like I said, a while back (to folks who may actually care about this stuff)......We have a problem here folks!!