Undiagnosed online communities

Allfunktup said:

Do any other undiagnosed people feel the same?

Yes, but decreasingly so over time.  From my personal perspective, I have found an increasing affinity with the folks in this place because of the regular (and utterly random) moments of resonance and connection with all manner of weird and wonderful writings.  My experiences here are affirming of my self-identification and providing me with a better insight into which of my plethora of odd personality traits are primarily autistic in origin, and which are just generalised weird disorders and features driven primarily by my personal life experience.  Obviously there is unavoidable overlap - but hopefully you get the idea.

To give you a precise example - I recently (nearly 6 months ago) quit abusing alcohol, by completely quitting booze.  Inevitably, as sobriety has taken hold within my head, it has been incredibly useful to have other autists help me to distinguish which manifesting thoughts and behaviours are likely to be autistic blossoming - and which are just cold hard sobriety and chemical re-balancing.  If a few other people say "God, yea, me too" when I relay a feeling or experience, it is more probable to be an autistic thing.  It's really helpful to me.

My advice Allfunk, is relax and participate.  See where it leads you.

All the best.

Thanks Number,

I do see a lot of "me too" moments. But because this is all new I get moments when I convince myself that this is like my form of masking, like " do I think that because everyone else thinks that here", or "am I still trying to fit in". I suppose it's just an identity issue where I'm not sure where I stand just  yet. But it's at the back of everything. Totally over thinking everything and trying to anticipate everything for so long makes me a very unreliable narrator or my own life!

Hi Allfunktup
This sounds so like me.  Don't know if this will be helpful, though, as I am also undiagnosed: dx'd dyspraxic (2011, aged 47) and with ADHD (2015, aged 52) - have been awaiting autism assessment for two-and-a-half years, and almost scared to go for it when I finally get the call in case I'm told I'm *not *autistic.*. Heaven knows how I'd deal with it then :(

Like you, I overthink everything, try to pre-empt situations, and lurk in autistic groups but invariably without the confidence (the right?) to comment, as I don't have the external validation to know I can talk with any authority as an autistic person.  I have a load of sensory issues (light and sound, primarily, although not taste and texture, that seem so common in the autistic community).  I need loads of downtime, to process (common autistic trait), have autistic joy (I don't know how other people can stay still when any music is playing, how they don't marvel at a slug's anatomy, or the form, structure and colour of lichens) - but don't have other common autistic differences, eg no issue looking people in the eye, don't have aphantasia, and can be really loud and noisy (in spite of my auditory sensitivities).

It's hard, isn't it? Re board games, incidentally, I love some, hate others.  Certainly wouldn't want to play board games online (whether with complete strangers or well-known family members).  My daughter (diagnosed autistic 2 years ago) is certainly not a fan of board games!

I guess all I'd say is that you obviously relate to other autistic adults, so that should be enough.  If you wanted to contribute, you could always start any comment off by disclosing you feel like a tourist, and are not diagnosed.  That way, you could still be your authentic self and not feel like you're talking out of turn.  

One last thing: what about all those diagnosed as autistic, before they got diagnosed?  They were just as autistic beforehand... 

Wishing you well.  Know that you are not the only tourist/lurker/self-doubter on here :)

(Context: when I was assessed for ADHD, the report included the line 'no autism traits'.  Because I had only had the 90 minute ADHD assessment, I don't believe this time or evaluation was sufficient or explorative enough for my long-masked 'autistic' differences to be evident.  Alternatively, I simply might not be autistic...)

Hi Allfunktup
This sounds so like me.  Don't know if this will be helpful, though, as I am also undiagnosed: dx'd dyspraxic (2011, aged 47) and with ADHD (2015, aged 52) - have been awaiting autism assessment for two-and-a-half years, and almost scared to go for it when I finally get the call in case I'm told I'm *not *autistic.*. Heaven knows how I'd deal with it then :(

Like you, I overthink everything, try to pre-empt situations, and lurk in autistic groups but invariably without the confidence (the right?) to comment, as I don't have the external validation to know I can talk with any authority as an autistic person.  I have a load of sensory issues (light and sound, primarily, although not taste and texture, that seem so common in the autistic community).  I need loads of downtime, to process (common autistic trait), have autistic joy (I don't know how other people can stay still when any music is playing, how they don't marvel at a slug's anatomy, or the form, structure and colour of lichens) - but don't have other common autistic differences, eg no issue looking people in the eye, don't have aphantasia, and can be really loud and noisy (in spite of my auditory sensitivities).

It's hard, isn't it? Re board games, incidentally, I love some, hate others.  Certainly wouldn't want to play board games online (whether with complete strangers or well-known family members).  My daughter (diagnosed autistic 2 years ago) is certainly not a fan of board games!

I guess all I'd say is that you obviously relate to other autistic adults, so that should be enough.  If you wanted to contribute, you could always start any comment off by disclosing you feel like a tourist, and are not diagnosed.  That way, you could still be your authentic self and not feel like you're talking out of turn.  

One last thing: what about all those diagnosed as autistic, before they got diagnosed?  They were just as autistic beforehand... 

Wishing you well.  Know that you are not the only tourist/lurker/self-doubter on here :)

(Context: when I was assessed for ADHD, the report included the line 'no autism traits'.  Because I had only had the 90 minute ADHD assessment, I don't believe this time or evaluation was sufficient or explorative enough for my long-masked 'autistic' differences to be evident.  Alternatively, I simply might not be autistic...)