Undiagnosed online communities

I'm undiagnosed, and although everyone is lovely here on the forum  I'm still finding it hard not to feel like a tourist.  Some of the advice and suggestion from the forum have been very helpful, but I reluctant to really talk to people as I'm not really part of this.  It that normal?  I wanted to get to know other autistic adults, but I don't feel like I'm at a place in my lift where the stress of the diagnosis journey would be worth it.  Where I live the health services are so overwhelmed I'm not a priority, and rightly so.  If I was younger it would be amazing, but I've made it this far without it I thought I should stick to acceptance. But it seems to fit so I'm curious enough to break my isolation a little.

I joined a meet up group online for adult autistics, but the keep meeting up and having events like board games.  Are autistic people all good at board games? I never played any.  Does this mean I'm not autistic? The other one was some sought of meal and I hate eating out. I know it sounds stupid, but things like this just put me off reaching out.  On some level I knew there is a lot of diversity within the community, but I feel like I don't have a guest pass, and can't access it. Do any other undiagnosed people feel the same?

Parents
  • I think some autists love board games. They have rules to follow and because the focus is on playing the game, socialising comes second. But not all of us like board games. I'm not a huge fan myself. Some can be fun, but I think my ADHD side dislikes the rule following and can't be bothered to learn new rules. Also sometimes the rules seem arbitrary and i think a game might be improved by a bit of tweaking, which could be done among friends and family perhaps but certainly not in a group of strangers. So I would not want to go to such an event either.

    Quite a lot of autists have issues eating in company though, so I'm a bit surprised that one works.

    I have found that some hobby groups, especially obscure or nerdy ones, are quite likely full of ND folks though.

Reply
  • I think some autists love board games. They have rules to follow and because the focus is on playing the game, socialising comes second. But not all of us like board games. I'm not a huge fan myself. Some can be fun, but I think my ADHD side dislikes the rule following and can't be bothered to learn new rules. Also sometimes the rules seem arbitrary and i think a game might be improved by a bit of tweaking, which could be done among friends and family perhaps but certainly not in a group of strangers. So I would not want to go to such an event either.

    Quite a lot of autists have issues eating in company though, so I'm a bit surprised that one works.

    I have found that some hobby groups, especially obscure or nerdy ones, are quite likely full of ND folks though.

Children
  • I was a bit surprised by the eating out one too. But my brain I just through they were much better at being autistic than me. Pros! I think I'm just too intimidated by a group of people playing games right now.  Hopefully I'll get over it.  I think I need to "come out" to my self first maybe? Self acceptance?