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Making friends online - advice needed

LostGUY

Hi all. I'm interested too hear your experiences of making friends online. Is it even possible and what does it look like?I'd like to get to know other autistic people online, as I can't find any local to me. I've never really had friends for the past 25 years so have a lot of doubts about the process and not even sure it's possible especially online. So, some of my questions, how long do you find it takes to gel with someone? Are forums or zoom chats better/different? What about discord? Don't really know what that is. Any advice, tips or your own experience would be welcomed. 

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  • Hi LostGUY (apt name considering your question?)

    People don't come more suspicious and naive than me in two regards namely; 1) making friends 2) doing anything "social" online.  Accordingly, you would expect me not to be here nor to have found friends in this place.  But I have.

    I wasn't looking for friends, I was looking for answers and guidance.  Along the way, friends have simply "happened."  It's blo ody wonderful!  I have never seen such open, honest, direct, cordial and interesting conversations in such abundance before.  I did not realise that there was a tribe that could behave successfully like this and that I could feel this "at home" with - especially remotely in this most alien of environments.

    In terms of advice for you.....just participate.  Some people's writings REALLY resonated with me, I cannot explain how or why, but they just did - in some instances this was reciprocated and mutually reinforced.  I think that is what a more "normal" chap might call friendship!?

    I wish you well in your quest, but perhaps don't try too hard - just keep reading and joining in - see where it leads.

    I wish you well.....who knows, perhaps we are destined to become friends?

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Hi number, thanks for the reply. It's great that you have got so much out of this forum. I do find it really useful to read the posts. Got to admit I find it hard to get involved, I feel pressure to write long replies, or feel I need to come across as really knowledgeable or helpful / compassionate like everyone else seems to be...maybe I am overthinking this, which is one of my traits! Perhaps I need to dive in more without thinking so much...

  • in reply to LostGUY

    Absolutely.  I would encourage you just to bang out whatever you fancy saying.  Personally, I am always so self concious that I might appear to have a multiple personality disorder !!  Sometimes (mostly) I write in a somewhat florid and Dickensian style (ie I can sound like I'm right up myself) - then I will burst out with some sort of "diamond geezer" speel - then I sound like a soppy and spiritual hippy etc etc

    I think the variety is as a result of my masking for so many years - I do the same think with my speech too - it REALLY freaks people out !

    My point is, just bang out any old words, in any old style - just be participatory in any way you see fit.

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  • in reply to LostGUY

    Absolutely.  I would encourage you just to bang out whatever you fancy saying.  Personally, I am always so self concious that I might appear to have a multiple personality disorder !!  Sometimes (mostly) I write in a somewhat florid and Dickensian style (ie I can sound like I'm right up myself) - then I will burst out with some sort of "diamond geezer" speel - then I sound like a soppy and spiritual hippy etc etc

    I think the variety is as a result of my masking for so many years - I do the same think with my speech too - it REALLY freaks people out !

    My point is, just bang out any old words, in any old style - just be participatory in any way you see fit.

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