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New member - can I get advice please? Severe autism burnout :(

NAS84562

I'm using a throwaway account for this since I wanted to see what it's about. I've been looking on the NHS for support since I've been aware I'm autistic since 2019, and had suspicions as early as 2017. I'm 18 now.

I live with my partner, and have a job alongside education. I don't work a lot, and my class schedule is barely packed. Yet, for the past several years I've been in a burnout. It's becoming really debilitating on most days. I hardly have a week where I can function with everything under control.

I know I'm an adult now but I'm genuinely considering asking my mum and dad to make me little calendars and help me. It's getting so hard to stay on top of cleaning, a masking retail job with sales targets and constant belittling (I know that's just retail but it's the only sort of job I can get with my age and availability, but it's so hard for me energy wise), doing the equivalent of a first year of university, all while loads of changes in my life (socially and stuff like that), as well as driving (a whole other autistic nightmare), and just *screams*.

I'm high-functioning, incredibly smart (apparently), socially apt, and it seems like I am just lazy.

But I'm realising I'm just burnt out constantly, and with the amount of trauma I've been through (a whole other thing), I'm regressing quite a lot mentally to my child self.

I know this can be a universal experience, does anyone have any advice on what to actually do?

I just want some form of relief, but it really comes across like nobody ever takes my disability seriously.

Parents

  • Hi- 18 is still very young- I'm 25 (soon 26 actually) and I still don't feel like an adult so I think wanting to ask your mum and dad for help is very understandable. I still ask my mum about plenty of things and she helps me out a lot (with simple things like rereading an email, helping me pick furniture or organise something, moral support etc), especially when I am stressed and burnt-out- I do wish I could be more independent sometimes but I struggle. I think it's perfectly fine for you to accept help from your parents especially if they are happy to offer it.

    Also I just want to say you are doing so much- studying, working, lots of changes etc. I hope you can find a way to give yourself some time to recuperate. I've struggled with burnout a lot ... for me it usually gets super bad and I keep going and going until my body/physical health forces me to stop. But that is not good at all and I never really recover... I just get going again and get burntout faster and more severely. I wish I could see the signs of burnout sooner and also find a way to stop it before it gets too bad. It's hard to put into practice ... like you point out it's not easy to know "what to actually do". I sadly also don't have an answer for that, only that it's super important to do something about it as it will get harder and harder to come back the more burnt out you get. 

Reply

  • Hi- 18 is still very young- I'm 25 (soon 26 actually) and I still don't feel like an adult so I think wanting to ask your mum and dad for help is very understandable. I still ask my mum about plenty of things and she helps me out a lot (with simple things like rereading an email, helping me pick furniture or organise something, moral support etc), especially when I am stressed and burnt-out- I do wish I could be more independent sometimes but I struggle. I think it's perfectly fine for you to accept help from your parents especially if they are happy to offer it.

    Also I just want to say you are doing so much- studying, working, lots of changes etc. I hope you can find a way to give yourself some time to recuperate. I've struggled with burnout a lot ... for me it usually gets super bad and I keep going and going until my body/physical health forces me to stop. But that is not good at all and I never really recover... I just get going again and get burntout faster and more severely. I wish I could see the signs of burnout sooner and also find a way to stop it before it gets too bad. It's hard to put into practice ... like you point out it's not easy to know "what to actually do". I sadly also don't have an answer for that, only that it's super important to do something about it as it will get harder and harder to come back the more burnt out you get. 

Children
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