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Autism Facebook groups - Parents v Adults

stranger

When I say "adults", I mean people on the spectrum.

I have just been kicked out of a Faceboook group which is mostly populated by parents of children on the spectrum. No PM explaining why and no warning.

It seems as though you can't ask questions without being accussed of having a go at someone / upsetting them. I was then told off for arguing. My crime? Explaining why sometimes, there are people on these groups who either don't have Autism or don't have children on the spectrum. That is not arguing.

I also found that I was largely ignored on this group and was more of a "what am I entitled to, now that my child has Autism?" group, rather than actually supporting people and giving advice. They started to approve posts and it seemed that parents could rant about whatever and post whatever they wanted. But I couldn't.

It seems there's a divide between parents whose children are on the spectrum and adults on the spectrum.

Anyone else noticed this?

Parents

  • IntenseWorld said:

    [quote]I wasn't kicked off a website - I just decided  to walk away because I felt, like Stranger said, that there was "a divide between parents whose children are on the spectrum and adults on the spectrum".  That particular website was set up by parents who had children on the spectrum at a  time when it was believed that it was a childhood problem and not an adult one and I came to realise that they and most of the other posters there were not really interested in,  or sometimes actually hostile to, those with adult diagnoses.[/quote]

    Several of us stopped posting at the same time and for the same reason.

    That's really sad, because they are losing a valuable opportunity to learn what the future holds for their children.  How short-sighted is that.  They won't stay children for ever.  Surely any decent parent wants to get an inkling of what issues their child will face as an adult as that will impact on them as parents, as an adult that child is likely to need extended support from their parents, perhaps for life.  Sadly, if the parents are NT they are going to be prone to all the difficult attitudes and behaviours that Aspies face in society generally.  Although that brings me full circle back to the fact that I was booted off an Aspie website and the behaviour of some Aspies leaves as much to be desired as some NTs.

    This is what bothered me. I thought I was helping them by being there. And it was nice (while it lasted) to get feedback from NT parents.

    It seemed as though I couldn't ask questions without either being ignored or being told off. Yet, they could pretty much ask and talk about what they wanted. Because of trolling, the admin had to approve threads (not posts) and it seemed to turn into a general discussion place. I post on a few other Autism Facebook groups - one aimed at adults on the spectrum (I think there's the odd NT parent of an Autistic adult there) and another aimed at both and can say that I've never had a problem at all with either group.

    The worrying thing is, that if parents of ASC children can be like that to people with the same condition as their child it makes you question how well they understand their own children and how difficult they could be making their existence.

    I got the impression they didn't really understand their children. They were pretty much allowed to get away with anything because of their Autism too and the parents would just make excuses instead of helping their children. One of them knew her 14 year old smoked and drank alcohol and fell in with a bad crowd, yet, she'd do nothing to help him.

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  • IntenseWorld said:

    [quote]I wasn't kicked off a website - I just decided  to walk away because I felt, like Stranger said, that there was "a divide between parents whose children are on the spectrum and adults on the spectrum".  That particular website was set up by parents who had children on the spectrum at a  time when it was believed that it was a childhood problem and not an adult one and I came to realise that they and most of the other posters there were not really interested in,  or sometimes actually hostile to, those with adult diagnoses.[/quote]

    Several of us stopped posting at the same time and for the same reason.

    That's really sad, because they are losing a valuable opportunity to learn what the future holds for their children.  How short-sighted is that.  They won't stay children for ever.  Surely any decent parent wants to get an inkling of what issues their child will face as an adult as that will impact on them as parents, as an adult that child is likely to need extended support from their parents, perhaps for life.  Sadly, if the parents are NT they are going to be prone to all the difficult attitudes and behaviours that Aspies face in society generally.  Although that brings me full circle back to the fact that I was booted off an Aspie website and the behaviour of some Aspies leaves as much to be desired as some NTs.

    This is what bothered me. I thought I was helping them by being there. And it was nice (while it lasted) to get feedback from NT parents.

    It seemed as though I couldn't ask questions without either being ignored or being told off. Yet, they could pretty much ask and talk about what they wanted. Because of trolling, the admin had to approve threads (not posts) and it seemed to turn into a general discussion place. I post on a few other Autism Facebook groups - one aimed at adults on the spectrum (I think there's the odd NT parent of an Autistic adult there) and another aimed at both and can say that I've never had a problem at all with either group.

    The worrying thing is, that if parents of ASC children can be like that to people with the same condition as their child it makes you question how well they understand their own children and how difficult they could be making their existence.

    I got the impression they didn't really understand their children. They were pretty much allowed to get away with anything because of their Autism too and the parents would just make excuses instead of helping their children. One of them knew her 14 year old smoked and drank alcohol and fell in with a bad crowd, yet, she'd do nothing to help him.

Children
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