Published on 12, July, 2020
...of being autistic.
Just finished a short online meeting, where I didn't have to do much except say one thing for AOB at the end. Thankfully meetings are rare in my job, just every couple of months. But by the end of this thing, I was so tense in my core that I had to lie on my bed for five minutes to relieve the intense pain. Never sure if the online ones are better or worse than in person. Maybe better. I don't have to repress a stim, it's out of frame!
Last week I thought I was being super functional and grown up by replacing the windscreen wipers on my car. I then drove into town on Friday, in the middle of a massive downpour, and the driver's side wiper blade fell off, at 40mph on a dual carriageway. I immediately started to meltdown and had to find somewhere to park, which I couldn't see because of the rain, took the wrong turning and had to stop in middle of the road because (as I found out at the time) I mainly stim by squishing my left hand fingers together with my right hand. That was quite affirmative of my diagnosis.
That sounds scary, glad you're OK. I had my wipers malfuction in torrential rain one night too, and I was sure my number was up. It was on a very twisty turny road with no hard shoulder, just grass verge, and ruthless drivers 'pushing' me at speed from behind. If it hadn't been for the bright lights of a hotel I recognised through the blur, and a very sharp, fast turn off into their thankfully wide drive, I feel sure that catastrophe was otherwise imminent.