Should I get a second opinion?

That sounds like the assessor had an atrociously limited and outdated concept of what you ‘should’ have been like. I would definitely seek a second opinion. That’s outrageous in fact! 

I’m so sorry this happened to you. 

I posted a long rant about such cavalier opinions in Kyle's previous thread. It's disgraceful how some professionals behave.

Your assessor is an idiot. There has been a reasonable amount of good quality research into autistic masking; see this, for example: journals.sagepub.com/.../13623613211026754

It wouldn't surprise me, but I have a low opinion of NHS psychiatry these days...

Many gates, all of them leading to certain ‘No’ 

A couple of pros I spoke to recently told me that there's a widespread lack of funding and resources, and also tremendous backlogs/workloads; perhaps people are being dismissed simply to save money or because of low staffing etc?

It was the NHS. The name of the service was Manygates Clinic. 

Is it private, Kyle? Or NHS or the like?

I'm not sure if there's any terms and conditions saying if I'm allowed to post the name of this clinic or not if other people want to take a look. 

I'm wondering why that clinic doles out so many 'refusals'. Is it simply a lack of professionalism, or something else? 

He was in his early 30s and the other assessor was in her mid 20s.

My parents asked what their actual qualifications were and they said psychiatry but they never said anything about specialism in autism. 

I agree. I’m also curious what age this person was? Are they one month away from retirement or something and just not keeping up with… 21st century medicine? 

Don't his opinions make a nonsense of autism/autistic behaviours or traits being considered a spectrum? What's the point, then, of the famous saying "If you've met one autistic person, you've met...one autistic person"? If that assessor oversaw the entire population then, according to him, nobody would be autistic...

I’m new to all the background studies tbh but certainly from listening to Kieran Rose (who seems to be leading edge on this masking business) your own definition/understanding is the more correct one. It’s learned but reflexive, not something one can actively switch off with sheer force of will. To say that one cannot mask is absurd, since even NT people do it on a smaller, less taxing, scale in all sorts of contexts. 

If that was a Doctor diagnosing physical ailments they’d be struck off! It sounds comically bad, or would be if it wasn’t so serious

This assessor said that it's not possible to truly mask. He said the fact I even looked at him instinctively when he said my name was proof. I don't understand this tho as I've personally read about people who've had to make an active attempt to learn to unmask cos they have just instinctively learnt how to because they're adults who've been forced to learn how to act neurotypically due to work and education.

I can try to make eye contact with people cos I've learnt that's something people expect of you but after around a second or two of eye contact I have to look away otherwise I start to panic and get headache. Multiple hours of this leaves me going home drained beyond belief until I can't even keep up the act anymore. 

Aside from anything else, don't people like the assessor realise that a lifetime of social conventionalities means that many to-be-assessed people will be on their best, most self-restricted, 'normal behaviour'? This is ungrained in us. For example, if we meet a stranger, we try to be unexceptional in our words and actions. Very few want to present themselves as 'weird'. It's human nature. So maintaining eye-contact *can* be achieved...but at a cost. Afterwards, we pay the price: after speaking to my advisors, my stomach muscles just killed me, yet I wasn't aware of clenching them because of my forced rigidity during the appointment.

This is Kyle's recent thread:

community.autism.org.uk/.../264574

Haha, thanks for being understanding. I was initially quite upset when I all knew was that I didn't meet the criteria but after having this interview I actually feel better as this assessor just seemed so unprofessional to me. I've looked up the clinic I was diagnosed at and within the last year when they started doing the assessments, literally every review says that the person was told they don't meet the criteria and they just have anxiety. I know these are Google reviews so you can't instantly trust them but the fact these dozens of people had the exact same experience as me is just so strange. 

I’m no expert (though clearly neither is that assessor!) but surely ‘born with anxiety’ is a case for, not against. 

I can’t believe they’re getting away with that, I’m so angry on Kyles behalf so I can only imagine what it’s like for him. Why am I talking about him like he’s not here? Sorry Kyle! 

I can’t believe they’re getting away with that, I’m so angry on Kyles behalf so I can only imagine what it’s like for him. Why am I talking about him like he’s not here? Sorry Kyle! 

If that was a Doctor diagnosing physical ailments they’d be struck off! It sounds comically bad, or would be if it wasn’t so serious

Haha, thanks for being understanding. I was initially quite upset when I all knew was that I didn't meet the criteria but after having this interview I actually feel better as this assessor just seemed so unprofessional to me. I've looked up the clinic I was diagnosed at and within the last year when they started doing the assessments, literally every review says that the person was told they don't meet the criteria and they just have anxiety. I know these are Google reviews so you can't instantly trust them but the fact these dozens of people had the exact same experience as me is just so strange.