Does autism aid your creativity?

I’d have to say it’s an overall ‘no’ for me. At least in the sense of inspiration for creative projects. Someone I know yesterday quoted the politician John Hume. Lovely man, did a lot for the peace process here in NI. He once gave me fifty quid, not because I’d mugged him but because I’d won a writing competition in school. He was presenting the prizes. But that’s about where my creative writing stopped. It puzzled my parents who for the next thirty years said things like ‘you were given a talent, and you’ll regret wasting it’ and ‘why don’t you try writing more poetry?’ Or ‘you know what you should do? Join a creative writing class’. They meant well of course, but all I could feel was a sort of guilt and paralysis that I couldn’t replicate the trick. And I think that’s the key. What had in primary school seemed to be a flourishing talent for spontaneous creativity was actually a highly reactive process. We were read poetry, blank verse was explained, metaphor and alliteration likewise. Some struggled to replicate that, I picked it up with ease and could see the magic formula that would make my poems stand out. Conciseness, alliteration, metaphor. And, crucially - an assigned theme. Write about the sea. Or our trip to the coast. Or how awful the 11+ was to do (we have a sickeningly elitist school system here, segregation of the poor disguised as everyone having an aspirational chance at a ‘good school’. ) Or a candle. Or…, My teacher called me ‘the bard’, I was shy about it but pleased. Then, secondary school. That short story competition came up in first year I think. Again, I had a hook - not because inspiration struck- but because I remembered a homelessness poster competition I’d been briefly a participant in and I thought ok that’s familiar territory I’ll write about a homeless guy’s dying thoughts. So I did that. There was no story shape or incident or narrative construction. Just man is homeless. Man is dying. Man shelters under bridge. Man dies. I wasn’t cynical in how I wrote it, but I was aware it was a sort of ‘worthy’ topic and would tick a box or two that would make it fit for purpose. So I won that. Next year, same competition: no ideas came. I realised I have no imagination. I love imaginative writing, it’s why cult and sci fi stuff appeals massively to me to this day and always will. Because I’m in awe of how this stuff tumbled out of people’s minds. I can instantly tell good quality writing from bad, but could I do either to save my life? In a piece of fiction? Doubtful. My diagnosis finally alleviated me of my ‘wasted talent’ guilt - my parents finally understand that for a short time I could do a certain ‘magic trick’ on a small scale and it impressed my teachers. We even looked back at thinks I’d written (there’s a wee book of them in the house) and I printed out the very samey formula I’d closely stuck to for each poem I wrote in primary. They started to laugh with me at how obvious it was once revealed -in fact some of the tricks were so rigidly adhered to it became comical - and I took no offence, as I say - it was a relief. 

and that’s the key to recognising how to need to manage in life. Understanding that I function well only in a reactive capacity, applying known rules innovated by other minds because mine simply does not have that capacity. I’m not stupid, I’m just not creative. On the other hand, I think I can put words together fairly well in a critical or intellectual exercise way. Responding at inordinate length in a thread perhaps! That kind of thing. And I like to learn piano pieces and add tiny flourishes of my own, but that’s the slightest of creative acts - connective tissue, not conjuring new worlds out of a blank page. Maybe, just maybe, I could do a piece of fan fiction some day. But a good idea never comes. Not in many, many years. Actually, there is one. A short story concept for the Doctor Who universe. It’s a fairly original one… I think? Maybe I’ll try writing it soon and see. But even if I do, that will likely be it. For life. But I’ll still ramble on forums! So I’ll get to write something…

You know, that's a really excellent and very interesting post, I think. Of course, that only highlights your obvious talent for writing - whether you artfully or unconsciously put that sense of structure, that knowledge of effective word-choosing (as you've described) into play, it's there regardless.

It takes a poet to use effective words, to know their power, to know where and when to place them, even in prose - that facility is not the mere 'trick' you think it is. There's no template for actual talent. To write well is to cast a spell without the need for formula.

PS It's my story as well: too much imagination but not enough to fulfil its potential. A barred gate before genuine originality.

That’s very kind Simon. And beautifully written. Kind of ironic that you’re talking about artful deployment of well chosen words while unconsciously (?) perfectly weighting your own to balance insightful content with elegant expression.

Or in Belfast speak: Here you, U rite real good like , so you do. 

That’s very kind Simon. And beautifully written. Kind of ironic that you’re talking about artful deployment of well chosen words while unconsciously (?) perfectly weighting your own to balance insightful content with elegant expression.

Or in Belfast speak: Here you, U rite real good like , so you do. 

Thank you. Wilde's work astonished me when I was young, and I can't help but be influenced by it. This is why my writing is rather old-fashioned, I guess. 

it's at this point that I'm supposed to prod you into picking up the pen once more...I'd like to, but I recognise only too well what you wrote about the difficulty in your doing so.