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Separating The Self

JT

On a lot of posts on this forum we talk about autism, and us. We differentiate between those two things.

However, clearly, if we are autistic then we are also autism. So I feel as if we need to not refer to those two things separately?

It's extreme, but I sort of want to change my name to autism so people refer to me in one go.

So instead of:

'Oh so you are austistic?' ...'yes, my name is ________, and I am autistic'.

It would go:

'Oh hi there Autism' glad to see you.' 'Yes, hi there, nice to see you too. It's nice to be seen for who I am, and not a person WITH a condition you must accommodate'.

Parents

  • You raise a good question here JT, but my mind was immediately knocked into a sideshow question that silently bugs me, so I didn't want to immediately comment and derail the main drive of your question.  Now, however, feels like an ok time.

    So if we, as autistic people, always resort to telling ourselves that "well it is because I am autistic" (or whatever form of words you prefer) then how will any of us ever improve ourselves and our lives if, in fact, we are autistic BUT WITH co-morbidities that actually make us rubbishy humans, whether autistic or not?

    As an extremist exemplar, I don't care if a dangerous psychopath is autistic or not.....first and foremost, they are a dangerous psychopath to me.  As a more balanced exemplar, someone with crippling BPD and autism might never seek help and comfort for their BPD if they spend their life repeating to themselves that "well it is because I am autistic."

    I think we need to be very careful with using (and self-believing) blanket terms and labels.  I want to improve myself - I'm more than happy to be autistic - but I also feel that there is much, much more to me and my "rounded edges"  than that.  I'm vigilant to look at the "whole self" not just the foundational "autistic self" and I wondered if anyone shares a similar sentiment and concern for "mono-labelling" (if that isn't a term, then it should be?)

Reply

  • You raise a good question here JT, but my mind was immediately knocked into a sideshow question that silently bugs me, so I didn't want to immediately comment and derail the main drive of your question.  Now, however, feels like an ok time.

    So if we, as autistic people, always resort to telling ourselves that "well it is because I am autistic" (or whatever form of words you prefer) then how will any of us ever improve ourselves and our lives if, in fact, we are autistic BUT WITH co-morbidities that actually make us rubbishy humans, whether autistic or not?

    As an extremist exemplar, I don't care if a dangerous psychopath is autistic or not.....first and foremost, they are a dangerous psychopath to me.  As a more balanced exemplar, someone with crippling BPD and autism might never seek help and comfort for their BPD if they spend their life repeating to themselves that "well it is because I am autistic."

    I think we need to be very careful with using (and self-believing) blanket terms and labels.  I want to improve myself - I'm more than happy to be autistic - but I also feel that there is much, much more to me and my "rounded edges"  than that.  I'm vigilant to look at the "whole self" not just the foundational "autistic self" and I wondered if anyone shares a similar sentiment and concern for "mono-labelling" (if that isn't a term, then it should be?)

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    I'm less worried about mono-labelling.

    Adjectives are not exclusive.  If i refer to someone as a "tall person" that doesn't stop me thinking about the idea that they are also female, married, british, artistic, and talkative.  

    Autistic only becomes all encompassing when it's associated with stigma.  People don't complain about being labelled as Christian, for example, or being labelled as a mother, because they don't see it as a negative.  It's just something that's a part of who they are.

    "Labels" have the implication that there is something dismissive about it.  But in fact they're just adjectives.  

  • in reply to Deleted User

    I agree with everything you say although sometimes it's easy to fall into that mindset and hard to get out of. Like when my partner and I miscommunicate, in my mind it's down to autism but it could be a male/female thing or personality.  I think we naturally want to look for explanations for anything and everything. I think often things are a combination of factors. I think some of it comes down to self confidence, awareness, support networks and being to advocate for oneself (ie not "I'm not doing that cos I'm autistic" but "I can do that but in a modified way"). Also the narratives around autism are often negative and about deficits not strengths so they dont instil belief in the individual. I can't speak for others only my own experience.  Also, we have to remember autistic people are not the only ones who have problems.