Painful bordom

You know I read somewhere that given the choice of being given an electric shock or sitting in boring silence alone and unstimulated for a period of time many people prefer the shock. This was a psychology experiment that was run some time ago. Have you ever experienced intense prolonged deep boredom. Boredom so deep it could almost be described as pain? I have to say I think I can. As a home schooled child before the internet quite a lot of my life felt like that. It must be rare these days now kids have iphones etc and can 'do an internet' whenever they want.

Here's the tragic dichotomy. I would consider my self an extrovert. I enjoy being around people. But most people are so incredibly boring. I mean so so boring. Life is quite boring. I remember working for the civil service dealing with forms and reports that said nothing. Or worse that said what could have been summarised in 3 graphs and 2 paragraphs in several pages. I grew to hate the term 'high level.' It's civil service code for 'ignore all the important details and make unwarranted assumptions.' All I was doing we regurgitating old work applied to new problems that in most cases they weren't best fit to answer. The boredom was agonising.

Am I alone? Am I the only one who finds most every day conversations and jobs so mind agonisingly boring? I thought this was how most autistic people feel?

Parents
  • I can relate to finding everyday conversations and jobs boring. When I used to work in open plan offices I had no interest whatsoever in any of the conversations that seemed to drone on constantly all around me all day every day.

    However as for feeling bored I can't say it's something I experience much if at all. I am 100% introvert and spend the vast majority of my time alone. I am never bored when I'm alone. I have great attention to detail and can become interested in the slightest thing that I switch my focus to.

    sitting in boring silence alone and unstimulated for a period of time

    I would choose this option for sure and I think it would take a long period of time before I started to become bored. I can get lost inside my own thoughts for hours or amuse myself doing number puzzles in my head. Silence for me is not boring, it is a blissful state which I find hugely energizing and uplifting.

  • I remember being forced to sit on a chair outside of class as some sort of punishment. Back when I was what 4 or 5. The one or so year I was in primary school before being homeschooled. And I decided that I wasn't going to be trapped by the chair I could always be free in my own mind. And you may have thought this meant being quiet and thinking but it didn't. I stretched my arms out on that chair and I became a jet plain in my mind. I sat there making zooming engine noises leaning from left to right picturing clouds to slalom around in my mind.

    The point being the notion of just sitting on a chair was intolerable to me. My brain needed to find a way to make it interesting to me. I think I've always been this way.

Reply
  • I remember being forced to sit on a chair outside of class as some sort of punishment. Back when I was what 4 or 5. The one or so year I was in primary school before being homeschooled. And I decided that I wasn't going to be trapped by the chair I could always be free in my own mind. And you may have thought this meant being quiet and thinking but it didn't. I stretched my arms out on that chair and I became a jet plain in my mind. I sat there making zooming engine noises leaning from left to right picturing clouds to slalom around in my mind.

    The point being the notion of just sitting on a chair was intolerable to me. My brain needed to find a way to make it interesting to me. I think I've always been this way.

Children
  • Hyperfocus on interesting tasks and topics is a feature of ADHD. I was quite surprised too when I learned that on here not so long ago.

    https://www.additudemag.com/understanding-adhd-hyperfocus/

  • Except I really don’t have issues with focus. I hyper focus. A lot. I’ve lost whole days working at interesting tasks. The only thing that easily distracts me is people talking around me which is more an issue I have filtering out background noise I think.

    I am very stimulation seeking though. I like bright colours everywhere, loud music, etc. it’s very very hard to over stimulate me with anything other than touch or smell. And even that I think is more a sensory processing thing.

    I can sit and computer program or read a book on quantum physics for hours. Of course I might have loud electronic music playing while I do it. Or I might be tapping my feet or stroking my arms etc. but it’s In addition to focusing on what I’m doing not in spite of it.

    maybe I don’t know enough about ADHD to say but the only other autistic ADHD person I know really struggles to focus. Can’t even watch a movie with out pulling out her phone and googling things.

  • Have you thought you might be AuDHD?

    I was very much like what you described as a kid, out of neccessity I had to learn how to restrict what comes out of my head into real world.  But I'm introvert, and I love alone time, in peace, and silence. If there is nothing in real world appealing to my ADHD  I shut it off, (I mean contact with outside, I can't shut off ADHD :P) and go to my Autistic Wonderland. My ex was constantly complaining I turn into manekin. 

    It's a superpower to be AuDHD