Hi, 

Any advice would be appreciated. 

I believe I'm autistic for many reasons. 

Im a 25 year old female. I went to the doctors today and initially they said I am psychosomatic. Unbelievable. I have done the autism NHS test online and it came back with a high score suggesting I should see doctors. Then to make matters worse they said I should try meditation and to try yoga and that I may just be anxious. On top of that they said I should pray to god. Can you actually believe this? 

My reasons for believing I could be autistic: 

1) I have problems listening to people. It's not that I don't want to listen, I do, I just zone out. Or if the topic doesn't interest me I struggle to engage in conversation. If I don't agree with the person I can't ever see it from their point of view or put myself in their shoes. Everything is black or white.

2) I lose focus. Again I struggle to stay focused if I'm uninterested. Zoning out is something I cannot help it simply just happens. I'm not being rude, it just takes up a lot of my energy. 

3) Certain things need to be in order. My books (in alphabetical order of the authors surname), my dvds (alphabetical order), colours of clothes, shoes, pens and pencils, teddy bears etc. I can become irritated if these are moved and aren't in an order. This does not mean I'm tidy as I'm not. I'm tidy in my own mind. 

4) I have a routine of journaling. I like to stick to my routine but I can't always as I forget or get distracted which then bothers me. I like to write each day and if I don't I feel frustrated as the journal I'm writting in has missed dates/information. 

5) I do not like busy places, loud noises or very bright lights. They unsettle me. Not in a way that I'm anxious but in a way that makes me feel like I want to shut myself off. It can be overwhelming. 

6) I have quirks. I need to lock the door about 4-6 times to know its definitely locked. If not I panic. If a car comes past my house at night I must check to see who it is (I don't know them but I like to recognise the car). If I don't check I don't sleep well. My head tells me to stay in bed while my body gets up, very frustrating. I read number plates and can remember them from weeks ago. 

7) Any form of change bothers me. Whether that's change in my work evmnvironment, change in travel plans, changing my work meetings around, change of my planned day (for example said I'm meeting so and so in one place and that changes to another can really stress me) etc. It can cause a lot of stress and sometimes withdrawal. 

8) Textures of things can bother me. Food texture is a main one and my food touching other items on a plate makes my skin crawl. Food with lumps makes me gag. This isn't limited to food. No, this is not being fussy its an emotional sensitivity. It goes as far as clothing and the material used, footwear, pens, rubbers, blankets, cups, bank notes and coins, paper, chalk boards, nail files, teeth grinding, tags in clothes etc. I can be overwhelmed quite easily by these things.

9) I have trouble regulating my emotions. Emotional sensitivity is something I struggle with. My emotions I experience are far more exaggerated than the average person. 

10) I struggle to make and keep friends. This is probably the main thing I've come to realise. I've had this ever since I was very young. I can become very anxious with social situations. Even if I know the people. I have come to realise this part way through 2022. There is nothing wrong with this. I just find it hard to navigate friendships and social situations. 

Now on top of this I also

- prefer time alone

- over apologise 

- take things literally 

- have meltdowns and shut downs 

- line things up 

- get exhausted by social interactions 

- have a routine which I stick to each day

- collect information regarding a special interest of mine (Peter Pan) 

- feel like I attempt to communicate properly but am often misunderstood 

- struggle to read the room

- struggle to understand other people's emotions, feelings, and body language 

- I avoid eye contact 

- jokes go over my head and I don't understand sarcasm.

- I get anxious in unfamiliar places.

- I am a people watcher and copy them 

- the world is far too loud for me. I literally wear ear defenders a lot. 

Textures I like: 

Velvet 

Felt 

Soft jumpers 

Satin 

Cashmere 

Silk 

Teddy bears 

Textures I don't like and sounds I can't stand 

Lumpy food 

Chalk 

Nail files 

Squeaky rubber dog toys 

Sandpaper 

Sponges and loofah 

Erasers 

Coins and bank notes 

Cars 

Fireworks 

Hand / hairdryers 

Loud conversations 

Singing 

Any popping sound 

I'm currently away from home so had a temporary GP and have now been referred to my GP at home who have been told they need to see me urgently and to do the required test for autism. May I just add I'm adopted and my birth family suffer with autism and ADHD. I was never formally tested or diagnosed as a child but I am concerned in the last few years. 

Thank you if you have read this far. I'd love to hear your diagnosis procedures etc.