• Replies 4 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 930 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

When should I tell someone I am autistic?

BlackCat44

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I received my diagnosis very late (in my 40s) and I'm still trying to work it all out.  I'm getting to know someone quite well professionally but they don't know I am autistic.  I feel like I need to tell them but I'm concerned about what their reaction would be.  Does anyone have any experience with this?  Thanks.

  • When? Just when you think they simply must know, otherwise why? If it’s work, and they need to know for accommodations, then do it as soon as possible. 
    I personally don’t divulge for the sake of it, and I would be very picky about who I told. At the very least, they would need to be someone I’m comfortable around, and who has known me a while. 
    As for the reaction, you’ll just have to wait and see. Some people are cool with it, others don’t care, some will look at you like your stupid, or give a sympathetic smile. I like the people that start asking questions!

  • in reply to Steven

    Thank you, I'll keep seeing how we're going.  They are starting to ask me questions that mean I'll have to tell them sooner or later!  

  • Hi. Slight smile

    Seeing as it's unlikely that you've had time to gauge their emotional intelligence, perhaps a good tactic would be to reveal your autism from a position of strength: after you've impressed them in some way? But most importantly, please don't feel the need to apologise for being yourself.

    Reactions vary, I've found:

    * Most people react well i.e. in a decent, kind manner (and even patronisation can be well-meant).

    * Some step away, as if autism was contagious.

    * Some are clearly thinking 'Go on then, show us a trick...'