Contradictions within Autism

out_of_step said:

finding similarity and common ground as connection.

Talk about internal conflict!

Not being able to find connection and common ground has been my life's biggest nemesis. Up to this late time in my life, I still haven't figured out if being selfishly self-absorbed is a throwback mask of self-preservation from my early days in NYC, my upbringing, or in my genetics, or perhaps all ---with three strikes against me and perhaps with an added touch of narcissism?  This burning desire to go against that "grain" has in the past forced me to make some rash decisions I have regretted. This is why I have a large text copy of Desiderata on the wall behind my monitor.  "Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself" should become my mantra. Perhaps then I will be at rest with myself.

Zeus' Dad.

'flying in the air'

I had that with my mom driving on a newly build road, satnav didn't have it yet, but it was telling us to go straight LOL

Meaning of 'next' and 'this' (and few other phrases e.g. 'on the other side') varies between languages and countries. Next is sometimes first turn you encounter, and sometimes one after first

Autonomistic said:

couldn't stand the persistent voice nagging me to make a U turn!

Yes it nearly got thrown out of the window when that happened

out_of_step said:

How do you get on with sat nav?

I don't get on well with sat nav at all.

I struggle to process verbal instructions, due to auditory processing difficulties, and rarely manage to follow a verbal instruction correctly. When I have tried in the past I found it incredibly stressful and I couldn't stand the persistent voice nagging me to make a U turn! 

I agree it's definitely too much information all at once.

I worry I over share on here too but I try to keep it general. I have amended my comment to remove your job title.

Tell him that. I'm often accused of being irrational when to me it makes perfect sense and anything otherwise is irrational. Double empathy no doubt.

My partners sat nav sometimes shows us travelling in a straight line to the middle of nowhere.

I'm the same as your last paragraph. I wouldn't holiday in the same place year after year. I don't think the direction or left right thing is much to do with autism but I could be wrong. I know other people who are not autistic who get mixed up too.

How do you get on with sat nav? My car doesn't have it but my partners does. It's too much information both visual, autiory and directional all at once. And that's when I'm being a passenger and not even driving. It's confusing when I'm told "next left" but it means "this left coming up". Or it givrs information in yards which i cannot judge. Or that its so accurate I miss the turning cos I'm waiting for it but it's exactly up to speed with where are.  

What would be interesting at this point is to get a "neurotypical" perspective on the list. I would like to know how experiences compare.  I think sometimes we can be guilty of attributing everything to autism when it might not always be the case. Who knows.

I do the same thing with maps, turning it to face the way I am facing. It is so much easier to process.

out_of_step said:

7. Get mixed up with left or right but have a good sense of direction.

Same. I hopeless at following directions if there are left or right instructions. However I can follow maps well and have a good sense of direction.

I love maps and it's one of my special interests. I enjoy planning routes on Ordnance Survey maps, picking out every little detail and feature. If I am going somewhere I research it endlessly on Google maps, both on aerial and street view. Sometimes I can happily spend hours 'virtual travelling' places I want/plan to visit.

I agree that sometimes it's good to just randomly explore a new place without having a particular route of destination in mind. I guess that's one of my own contradictions. In my everyday life at home I am a creature of routine and sameness but away from home I love discovering and exploring new places.

out_of_step said:

use Google directions

on your mobile phone

There is fundamental problem people are unaware of involving refreshing your position on a map using GPS. Even these days with so many towers for mobile communication. Refreshing isn't a continuous process, it happens every few minutes. so it's possible to confuse your phone to the point it will be showing you to go in opposite direction to correct one. I proved it my friend Philosopher by making few rounds in neighbourhood tracing a shape like snail's shell.

I'm impressed by your practical hands on skills of being able to repair things in order to be self sufficient. Hands on skills are something which I know I lack and wish I didn't. It sounds like you had a job which was suitable for you and with some element of variety of travelling to different locations. And I do'nt think there's much competition for the area of work you mentioned so i would assume you didn't need to put yourself out there too much as people would come to you. (I could be wrong though!) I think it's a positive that you found a job which suited your natural disposition whereas a lot of autistic people end up jobs or environments which are not suitable. It's a line between working in a sector with least stress but with an element of job satisfaction. School in my day was about intellect and pushing you towards more and more qualifications rather than taking a more holistic approach including what's suitable in terms of nature and personality.

That strikes me as a great idea. Much better, and more enjoyable, than standard thinking.

I decided to delete this reply as it gave too much away

I confuse my partner when I read a map because I turn it around to face the way I'm facing (it's easier than processing what is an opposite direction) but I think that's a male / female thing about how we read maps. If I am looking at a static one on a wall in a new place it's very confusing to get my bearings on it. Most people would just use Google directions these days if they are exploring a city but it's not something I do.  I don't like just blindly following directions because then you miss stuff. When I moved to a new place I purposefully drove around and subsequently got lost so many times but that was nice because I got to see places I wouldn't have usually and then I knew instinctively where more stuff was in relation to other things. To my partner's amusement, I also knew exactly which buses went where even though I had no use to get them because I had a car.

To add: if you begin to write down what sort of uncertainty does not resonate as opposed to uncertainty that doesn't seem to matter, it will most likely be socially impacted uncertainty which affects livelihood is the problem. And one shouldn't be OK with that.

out_of_step said:

And who said romance was dead.

Hahaha

Time!!! Time is such a great subject. We've created a concept for linear time and called it Chronos. We've taken measurements and discovered the movement of seasons, the cyclic motions of our environment and created calendars and clocks - all to harness this great unknown. And then there's the tiny complexity of our own decay, like all Matter we encounter, or Material 'Stuff'. And now we're believed to have discovered Light is outside of Time (yet there were echoes of this long before the study of Physics was a doctorate programme.)

I don't know... Part of uncertainty is the possibility of discovery. In a space I can control, with natural elements, not harmful ones, I'll find I'm OK with uncertainty because really, nothing is certain. I don't like when uncertainty leaves me in a state of Indefinite Postponement, I find that cruel. But I don't allow these situations too much unless it's unavoidable like renewing a passport.

The disdain of uncertainty in society is usually warranted. NTs seem to have a better grasp on certainty because they don't tend to be robbed of agency in their youth and have been taught to do what they want regardless (as a domination tactic - a sort of work-a-round), but also there's a lack of intense impact. But all humans need to mature beyond B&W rash thinking when it is of little consequence. Many parents of autistic children on here could use a reminder of how they must grow beyond polar thinking if they are to be successful as parents.

I just cannot understand maps, even those of my local area.

It's funny you say that. I was away by myself a bit back in a busy city and spent ages trying to acclimatise myself in relation to parts of the place I was visiting. I was there staring at a map and a passer by asked me if i was OK. I'd say this is another example of wanting to know the detail to build up a bigger picture of my area before embarking upon visitng places.  I'd say I'm good with directions in that I can sense where north is for example. I think a lot of processing goes into acclimitising our surroundings when they are new. But your examples are of familiar surroundings so it's a bit different.