Am I atypical even among autistics? (Not wanting promotion/advancement at work)

I agree with that need for balance. Some daily dependable routine within one’s own domain, and at one’s work station. But an acceptance that the day will offer variations (welcome or otherwise) that will use up ‘spoons’ to some inevitable degree, and that internally resisting too much will only use up more of them. But I find that easiest to do when the ratios are within my coping limits, and my present gig is therefore the one I intend to keep long term. Creative flourishes in the margins of one’s life can balance the familiarity/difference ratio well too. Like learning a new piece of music on a familiar instrument. Or contributing to a personal or collective (as I have done of late) creative project that tentatively steps a little out of one’s comfort zone. 

That's interesting. This thread was making me think of Convenience Store Woman, a Japanese novel where everyone looks down on the (likely autistic) main character because she enjoys working in a convenience store and doesn't aspire to anything more.

I think with my level of focus I could effectively manage just fine, but I would be concerned despite my social skills I would still be a bit too blunt and step on toes in a managerial position (though maybe this is a good thing? who knows) but I certainly understand the sentiment of not wanting to be responsible for others as that also requires relying on others to prove my own competence rather than simply relying on myself to prove my competence. So the sensible voice in me would also say don't take that role because I know it would be a fast track to stress and more likely burnout.

You should point it out in comments to that video, I'm sure he will be happy about it. It's difficult job to picture as wide frame to encompass all autistic. I think I haven't watched that one.

If I had a chance I would do what you did. I'm avoiding any and all jobs where I would be responsible for others anyway. It's one of most dreaded scenarios, to be forced to become manager.

But there is another side of that coin - to become complacent and fall into stagnancy, becoming more vulnerable and fragile, prone to become stressed with slightest changes. Still there are other ways to keep devolping self, it doesn't have to happen at work. But stagnancy is and I always believed it, the worst a human can do to self.

One of prevention strategies i developed is to routinise only some elements of daily life, those that can't be influenced by acts of others. e.g. morning routine to the point of leaving house to work, past that I don't excpect things to happen always the way I got used to do them.

It’s only easier ‘up there’ if you can innovate, delegate, and be proactive. And be a bit of a blue skies thinker. As well as being responsible (usually) for appraising and coordinating others. I have no more hope of becoming instinctively (or even via practice) good at that than getting to the moon. I accept it, I’m glad to have fully understood it (and why), and I even feel gratitude that that is not to be my fate. 

So in fact I think most high-ups earn their pay (not in every sphere of course) via a stress and responsibility ratio way in excess of anything I could handle. It’s no walk in the park for sure. 

Thanks!

then ofcourse wed get pissed when we see lazier people who put in les effort or have only just recently joined and not earned their place get promoted above you and praised when you never even so much as got praise and worked million times harder... that makes you feel like crap

well .. its complicated... because at first we dont want a job, we consider it a waste of life and see it as not living and just throwing your lifes time away because society says so, so alot of us struggle to even get into work or get past the thought of it.... but then when we luckily get into work, we either quit, or if we got past that quitting phase and begin to forge a life, in my experience i dont care about promotion.... i more care about job stability.... but yes, promotion can make your job more stable and make it so when they need to let staff go youd be safe as your promoted above others so the lower downs will get sacked first. but security is the only real reason to want promotion, pay is never really that much of a upgrade... work is usually less though as all the higher up positions get lazier and lazier while all the lower down work positions do all the hard graft.

so if you want easier job doing less work for a tiny bit more pay and much more job security then yes youd want a promotion.

This is so true, I was watching a documentary just about people's lives in other countries and in Japan there is a guy who had the dream of becoming a train driver (yes that's right, driver, not CEO of the rail company) and in the culture there it is considered good enough because he's doing an important job and it's enough for him because it makes him happy.
It really makes you think how messed up it is in the west that people think you need to aspire to riches, fame, or titles just to be satisfied with their job.
I think anyone can be considered a sucess at their job if they can get a living wage (enough to pay bills and fund their hobbies with a healthy work-life balance) and a bit of job satisfaction. I think when we are younger we do title-chase but as we get older and have to manage our energy better though that more low-key sucess does become the more realistic dream for many.

This was alluded to in another thread last week. What is normal for anyone really!? You can't have normally autistic. There are some shared aspects but many that are different.

Shardovan said:

Not because we are stupid but because we are smart enough to see what will not fit well and cause stress.

This was my experience and I'm thankful that I had started to have inklings of AS around this time. It made me stop and think.  Previously I woukd have jumped at the chance. Then struggled and masked and got more stressed as I was trying to do what everyone else does which is climb the ladder. I think, especially because of the processes we go through in getting diagnosed as adults, we maybe end up understanding ourselves FAR more than people who haven't been through it and so we could have different perspectives in that we are more aware of what is better suited for us in life rather than doing what is automatically expected. 

Your last paragraph....I think it's hard. ..when we finally find answers to ourselves but then some of it doesn't sit right...maybe a feeling of needing to belong, finally finding that...but not quite.....I think it's to do with black and white thinking maybe. ...but it's never all or nothing. I can't relate to a lot of stuff I read about AS but I'm sure as more and more comes out we will find some we have more in common with than others. Remember whatever you watch or read is only ever ONE perspective of anything. I think sometimes we just need reassurance. 

Sounds like you're doing just fine as you are!

I suppose I should also feel lucky. Those who get restless do so because comfort (which for them might lie in new horizons, challenge, greener grass) eludes them if they stay put. For me, comfort is staying put - in the right thing. Which I know I have. 

There is also the Peter Principle that people are promoted to their level of incompetence, so you are probably wise staying where you know you excel.

I don't think you're "abnormally autistic". I'm not currently in a situation where promotion is an issue, but certainly in the past I wanted to find a niche where I was comfortable and stay there, not climb the promotion ladder.

I do find that "autism" covers so many different types of people that it's easily to feel "differently autistic" or "too autistic" or "not autistic enough" when compared with others. I've never really had a sense of autistic people as a "tribe" where everyone thinks just like me, although I know lots of people do feel that way.

Great! Yes library jobs are good for us. All the best. 

Mines a library job too! And same duration (20 years) so far, with one grade change in that time. I have a degree and library studies qualification too. You couldn’t have given me a more reassuringly perfectly matched account of your own circumstances. Not only am not anomalous, but we are practically twins! Huge thanks to you. 

Hi I agree with you, I’ve been in the same job in a library for 20 years. I don’t want promotion and I’m happy doing what I’m doing- I have a degree and could go for other jobs but I know it would be bad for my well-being.All the best.

Wise words and much appreciated. No I was not saying autistic people should gratefully take any promotion that comes their way. I meant exactly the opposite, that it freaked me out that someone autistic and very articulate about all the nuances of that seemed to nevertheless not allow for the possibility that some of us don’t  want promotion and indeed know it could be harmful to our wellbeing. Not because we are stupid but because we are smart enough to see what will not fit well and cause stress. In my case, I’m at the highest grade I could be while still being in a reactive, not pro-active, role (I feel literally incapable of the latter - but pushed myself into unwanted interviews in the past as it felt like one of those dreaded ‘should’s that I no longer want to be a part of almost universalising). These days, I see that I’ve done well, intuited my way towards one of the few specialised niches I could do well in long term without burn out, and reached a modest salary that nevertheless meets my needs. And I feel that a long-term stay in that job (for as long as it’s there) should be valid, and valued. To be fair, probably most don’t notice or care. Many people get itchy feet after a few years and want a change of a promotion. I’m the oppposite. I like continuity, routine. In fact, I need it. More now than ever. My energy reserves for weathering change are less now I’m in my mid forties, and I want to have things as they are for my own well-being. 

i just wish that video had additionally said: ‘…of course some of us don’t want promotion or change but feel pressured to be seen to want that…’ but that, crucially I feel, was omitted. And left me feeling briefly anomalous. But this thread has helped a lot. I need to start just owning my individuality a lot more  unapologetically I think! 

No, and I think we need to remember all autistic people are different. There seems to be this narrative that NT behave in one way and AS people in another.  I think what you are talking about depends on our values etc. Yes a lot of autistic people may get passed over for promotion but some don't. Some NT people want to climb the ladder but some don't.  It's not all black and white. I myself was offered one at work but declined because I am content where I am, and I didn't know at the time I was autistic (altho inklings were creeping in). I would rather do my current job well than a higher job poorly and in any case it'd involve too much peopling with other colleagues and a sense of getting the job done as opposed to doing it correctly.

I don't completely understand what you are saying but I hear you in that this is one of the problems I've had in finding other autistic people I can relate to because I feel very much out there on my own. A lot of the material is about "us" so that when you don't fit that narrative or the NT one, where do you fit? Does it matter? It's no one else's business. I have my own niche in the world and I think a strong sense of identity in some respects.

Ambition in terms of career etc is overrated but its different from job satisfaction and contentment. You can have ambition in other areas of your life. I think the most thing is to be content with your life and its great if you have a job which fulfils you and pays the bills. And doesn't stress you out so that you can enjoy your free time. 

Are you trying to say autistic people should be grateful for any promotion they get so take it? There are a lot of people who aren't diagnosed and no one knows they are AS, even themselves so I don't think that makes any difference really!

I have been pretty doing the same job for the last 25 years, but at three diffrent companies. I have fixed , at customers sites, IT equipment all that time, now fixing photo copiers. Back in the summer I was looking for a job after I left a job I hated. Was starting to look at other jobs, simple stuff like cafe or shop work, and that really struck me with fear. Then got a job back in my little niche hich will do until I semi-retire in a couple of years. Just do what makes you comftable and happy.

Rob