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Relationship

Blue222

Hello All.

I am a newly diagnosed adult with autism. I was diagnosed in October (which was not a huge shock).

I have been with my partner for around 18months now, and they have been great. They are always there for me and they always encourage my interests. However, we have recently had discussions provoked by my poor emotional regulation, auditory processing, which result in them stating they do not want to end up as my carer. They state i moan alot during my day to day life, and that I require alot of comfort and support from them emotionally and it is draining. 

I dont know how to stop this. I dont want them to feel like they are my carer. But I was unaware I was putting this pressure on them. 

It kind of makes me want to hide away from the world. I feel like a burden. 

Being in a relationship can be very hard sometimes. Communication is key!! but i lack the level of communication skill they have. 

Anyone else felt this way?

Thankyou. 

Parents

  • I’m 23 and never been in a relationship..which sucks. But one of the reasons why is because it became clear to me I would rather  never have a boyfriend than be with someone who wasn’t right .

    My personal opinion is that you deserve better than that. Relationships are about being there for the other person and it sounds like this person doesn’t want to do that. A relationship isn’t just for the good times it’s for the bad times as well. If you are being yourself and doing your best   And that’s not good enough for them, then they aren’t the person you thought were.

    No one should ever make you feel like hiding away, they should be doing the opposite.

    I’m so sorry that they have done this to you and they are in the wrong not you.

Reply

  • I’m 23 and never been in a relationship..which sucks. But one of the reasons why is because it became clear to me I would rather  never have a boyfriend than be with someone who wasn’t right .

    My personal opinion is that you deserve better than that. Relationships are about being there for the other person and it sounds like this person doesn’t want to do that. A relationship isn’t just for the good times it’s for the bad times as well. If you are being yourself and doing your best   And that’s not good enough for them, then they aren’t the person you thought were.

    No one should ever make you feel like hiding away, they should be doing the opposite.

    I’m so sorry that they have done this to you and they are in the wrong not you.

Children
  • in reply to Jasmineb1999

    Thankyou Jasmine. 

    I think most of the time I am frustrating them with the way I am. I feel like they think i am doing it on purpose. Often they tell me that they have read about autism and relationsips and it is up to me to change to support them. Its all weird. I say its just how i am. but the response is that i cant always pin everything down to autism. Which is very easy for NT's to say isnt it. 

    Its only ever me in the wrong and im tired of it.

    I love them so much though, and I know im dependent on them for alot. Its hard.

    Thankyou for your repsonse, and I am almost certain the right person will come along for you, and you will find exactly what you are looking for.