Problems with keeping the job

This issue often occupies my mind, and it will until I find solution.

If you have a job in an office or other well paid job getting reasonable adjustments is probably possible, since people making decisions work in the same place. It is more complicated in low pay jobs, like my job. I would need to write to HQ, and sending messages back and forth would probably make the process take a year, and I don't know if I'm going to last that long, and applying would add to already high levels of stress now. I tried to talk to my store manager and other managers at the begining for few months and I've been told that company policy is not to take any action until there is a problem, meaning I would have to make a complain on someone. I don't think I even managed to convey the concept of what it is I am talking about. Talking to other managers received mixed responses, from laughing me out right, to ''OK'', and ''Why are you telling us that?''. Success rate was about 10%. Everyone else just ignored my requests or started using what I told them to make fun at my expense. Annoying, pointless, hopeless. I gave up talking and asking. I just started to ignore people that are nasty, since then few ended up on permanent ignore. It's not the way to function. It complicate things even further.

I think it would be possible if it wasn't for a primary reason of our difficulties - Double Empathy Problem. But to communicate successfully, I mean to pass the message in an understandable way, and for the message to be believed and taken seriously allistic in charge would have to adjust their approach, we are unable to do all the adjustments on our own. 

To sum up differences in communication:

Allistic style is to purposely mislead in order to get 'an edge', and to expect decceit and lies in return. So everything that isn't 'normal' is taken as a made up thing, and not believed.

Autistic style is to avoid misleading, what is being said is meant.

I don't mind if they do that to themselves, but I would really like to be left out of it.

If such a thing is even possible, how it could be done? 

Last night I had an idea, another one of my 'radical solutions'. What if big companies had to employ Reasonable Adjustments Coordinators because law says so? Just another administration clerk whose responsibility would be to track and introduce reasonable adjustments in company's branches before lack of them turns into problems or people giving notice. It's an extra cost to hire a new employee, and for goverment to pay unemployment support, and I reckon they are looking for solutions to that issue as well. It would improve prospects for autistic as well because for the moment majority is unemployed, or just lost job because of lack of reasonable adjustments. It would be beneficial for allistic as well, since they thrive in autistic friendly environments. 

What do you think? Who wants to write a letter to our goverment with a proposition? 

I think I like saying 'as well' Stuck out tongue

Parents
  • Good morning Mariusz,

    Don't try to change government policy - just keep persevering on your particular job and your particular employer and get your situation improved before you worry about the wider world.  Make yourself secure and happy in your job, then tackle the wider problem.

    I think you are absolutely right about the problem.....it is a problem of communication.  I am assuming that you are good at your job and that they will NOT want to loose you.  I am assuming that you are generally able to hide and suppress your unhappiness at work most of the time.  I am assuming that they just think you are "a bit weird" rather than actually struggling to keep your job going or being properly unhappy.

    I bet that, if your allistic employer could be made to understand how you actually feel and that there is a real risk that you might leave your job because of it - I suspect they would be horrified?  I strongly suspect that will would be more than happy to make reasonable adjustments for you, IF they can be made to understand the issues that you face.

    No employer wants to loose a good employee.  That means both your store, and the larger organisation too.

    I think you need an advocate - just as Autonomistic has suggested - but someone to actually just chat with you and them.  I don't think this needs to become a major issue for you or them IF communication can be clear and simple for you both.

    Someone who can "speak" both autistic and allistic - and can translate fluently for both of you.  Someone who will be "taken seriously" by your employer.  Someone that can translate your hopes, needs and fears into NT / capitalist / labour law terms.

    Do you know anyone who might be able to advocate for you on this matter?  A couple of the wiser and better read people on these pages seem to believe that souls with ADHD are especially good at communicating with both autistic and allistic people - do you know any?

    I will do some research over the weekend to see if I can find any service providers if you like?  I have had dealings with "Law Societies" in the past that comprise of very serious people doing pro bono work for the good of society.  If you would like me to do some digging on your behalf, please send me the name of your employer via private message and the area of the country you are in.

    Don't give up - a solution can be found.

Reply
  • Good morning Mariusz,

    Don't try to change government policy - just keep persevering on your particular job and your particular employer and get your situation improved before you worry about the wider world.  Make yourself secure and happy in your job, then tackle the wider problem.

    I think you are absolutely right about the problem.....it is a problem of communication.  I am assuming that you are good at your job and that they will NOT want to loose you.  I am assuming that you are generally able to hide and suppress your unhappiness at work most of the time.  I am assuming that they just think you are "a bit weird" rather than actually struggling to keep your job going or being properly unhappy.

    I bet that, if your allistic employer could be made to understand how you actually feel and that there is a real risk that you might leave your job because of it - I suspect they would be horrified?  I strongly suspect that will would be more than happy to make reasonable adjustments for you, IF they can be made to understand the issues that you face.

    No employer wants to loose a good employee.  That means both your store, and the larger organisation too.

    I think you need an advocate - just as Autonomistic has suggested - but someone to actually just chat with you and them.  I don't think this needs to become a major issue for you or them IF communication can be clear and simple for you both.

    Someone who can "speak" both autistic and allistic - and can translate fluently for both of you.  Someone who will be "taken seriously" by your employer.  Someone that can translate your hopes, needs and fears into NT / capitalist / labour law terms.

    Do you know anyone who might be able to advocate for you on this matter?  A couple of the wiser and better read people on these pages seem to believe that souls with ADHD are especially good at communicating with both autistic and allistic people - do you know any?

    I will do some research over the weekend to see if I can find any service providers if you like?  I have had dealings with "Law Societies" in the past that comprise of very serious people doing pro bono work for the good of society.  If you would like me to do some digging on your behalf, please send me the name of your employer via private message and the area of the country you are in.

    Don't give up - a solution can be found.

Children