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Tezza

Hi I just wanted to see if people has similar experiences to me. I live with my mum and step dad. My mum was in the process of being diagnosed with adhd and got referred for an assesment around the same time I was referred. My assesment came a lot quicker as I had major mh issues at the time and we moved before she had her assesment and she didn’t feel like going through the process all over again as we were now ina different county. Due to the way she is she talks a lot Wich most the time is fine as we have a very good relationship but some days I feel like I don’t want to talk sometimes it’s like when she talking it’s grating on my nerves so bad I want to scream I don’t want to bring it up to her as I don’t want to hurt her feelings but wondered if anyone else experienced something similar and had a way to cope or deal with those types of feelings. 

  • Thank you everyone that was very helpful 

  • If you're Autistic and she's ADHD she will wear you out. Meanwhile ADHDers can be impatient with autistics. 

    It appears to be a fun little trick of nature... really odd, but possibly a pattern. And not just with Parent / Child, but ADHD and Au attract each other in partnerships. We understand one another neurologically. We both have this absolute chaos in our heads and the ADHD loves it while the Au needs Order. These are both part of a brain that senses everything-at-once and can make seemingly invisible connexions. 

    It would help your relationship for her to understand ADHD and how it affects you, so she can be mindful. I'm aware I'm WAY too intense for my son some times and have given him freedom of expression to simply tell me. I'd rather he feel open than suffering my intensity which can weigh down on him. 

    Your mum's job is to help you thrive. She can always pop to a shop or a neighbour for a chat and let you 'introvert-out'. It's ok to tell her you need to regroup in solitude... or you like being in your own space while in the same room. In fact, the ADHD community have a term called Body Doubling, which is a fun one and might help with connexion while affording you uninterrupted time to focus and think, which is incredibly important for Autistics. 

  • Tezza said:
    Due to the way she is she talks a lot Wich most the time is fine as we have a very good relationship but some days I feel like I don’t want to talk sometimes it’s like when she talking it’s grating on my nerves so bad I want to scream I don’t want to bring it up to her as I don’t want to hurt her feelings but wondered if anyone else experienced something similar and had a way to cope or deal with those types of feelings

    Apologies if this is a really wayward off-the-field question, but what kind of content is the talking? Is it talking to make noise, or is there specific topics?