Just how do you get out of it? Functioning for work purposes but finding it very difficult to get going with anything else. This isn't good.
I've had this before, but it's never gone on like this. I do note that while the body is immobile and just about eats the brain is in overdrive on a lot if things I need to kick into action but the kick isn't there.
I think functionality is different for us. Sometimes I function in some ways, other times not so much. In the past I have functioned better, but never as well as some people seem to. Yet there are certain things I am good at, just those are generally not the things which are most useful for modern life!
Sometimes things break because they were not right somehow. Although it can be hard to see and accept that. Finding ways round it, or ways to avoid certain things, can work better than pushing through the same way most people manage. I sometimes think so far outside the box I don't even realise there was a box which most people were thinking in!
Work in progress is good. Work stalled with no actual progress for years not so much... But sometimes progress is suddenly possible again and can happen.
I am looking on the bright side - but don't mistake my optimism for bona fide and irrefutable functionality. Some aspects of my life remain decidedly broken / undone. I'm very much still a work in progress. I wish us both good luck and God's speed.
Yes that's it get up and go got up and gone. Going to take some change and a force of will to get it back, I think.
I so totally relate to this, unfortunately for both of us! Except the sideways move and functioning in the world, as I am not... But the time loop and not being able to restart or return to where we were.
And yes, waiting for burnout to just right itself did not work for me either!
Our brains work best when focussing on one thing at a time. If you can try block everything else out and focus on just one thing it should become more achievable. Easier said than done I know!
If I have a list there is the executive function difficulty of deciding which is more important and which to do first.
This strikes me as a useful insight! I certainly suffer from this problem. Especially as you say about doing that one thing that day - so often it is only one thing which can be done yet two or even more things ought to be done that day! Sometimes I just have to accept they cannot all be done that day, other times they really do and somehow have to be.
But more common is the not being able to make myself do anything much. I do feel like I can't start on a big thing while I have other stuff going on, but there is always other stuff going on so the big thing ends up waiting indefinitely and sometimes it can't really. I shall make a note of this insight about single focus and see if it helps. It seems obvious really, as I do know I have single focus, but somehow seeing it written out like that in this context helped.
I often refer to what you describe as feeling as though my 'get up and go' has got up and gone. As I sit here typing this, I have no idea if or when my 'get up and go' will return, as it's been ongoing for YEARS.
No advice or suggestions I can offer you Dawn, but just to say I can (sort of) relate.
I suffer from this too. Sometimes just failing to get things done, in which case lists and reminders on my phone calendar helps. Typing up thoughts that are stuck in my head also helps to syphon off a few things and make sense of them.
But also sometimes just feeling stuck and unable to move. When this happens, I have to start small. Blink a couple of times. Wiggle one finger (which also makes me smile because it makes me think of Inigo getting excited about a finger wiggle in the Princess Bride). Move my body.
But sometimes it can also be a sign of some bigger emotional stuff going on, a kind of melancholic lethargy, which might mean you need to address something that's causing you worry or upset.
That sounds positive - I wish you all the best with it.
Interesting, I’m sort of the same. I find I get accustomed to a way of living more and more over time and it gets harder to bust out of it.
Change not kick. Got it. Thanks. That's insightful. There is a change in the offing which is too slow coming. Maybe on the other side of it, things will improve.
Dawn, you speak very much of my life experience too. I'd always been aware of some sort of cyclical boom/bust attitude to getting things done. Seemed to work in a 6-7 year time loop. As I got older, it got more and more difficult to "restart" myself. Eventually, it seems that I haven't actually been able to "return" to where I was. I've taken a sideways move....eventually....still making adjustments just to function "survivably"in the NT world.
My advice, based on my experience = don't wait too long for things just to "right" themselves. After my profound burnout, it simply didn't happen and I deeply regret waiting for so long to realise that I needed change, not just the "kick" that had always worked in the past.
That's a great T-shirt. Gunna get myself one of those........at some stage.....eventually...probably!
I struggle with this a lot too. Once I can get started on something and achieve hyper focus it's great, as long as I don't get interrupted. However it's the getting started which is the difficult part. It's hard to move on if something else is unresolved.
the brain is in overdrive on a lot if things
I suspect this is the problem. Our brains work best when focussing on one thing at a time. If you can try block everything else out and focus on just one thing it should become more achievable. Easier said than done I know!
If I have a list there is the executive function difficulty of deciding which is more important and which to do first. Rather than mentally agonise over the decision, I find it helps to just pick one and set a target for myself to do that one thing today.
The external force is why I seem to have no problem getting motivated to do my job. I feel often it's either hyper focus or nothing at allness and I'm wondering if the periods of nothingness are what I need for recovery. But I don't feel that fully explains it. Often I really do want to get going but can't seem to. Even for things I'm interested in and want to do.
I do think there's the "day to day" inertia which has probably got worse since I'm now part time in my job, but I feel there's life inertia in that I know I need to make fundamental changes but can't seem to get going. I'm in a state of ennui I suppose too.
I do put pressure on myself that I "should" be able to do this or that or just start or just get on with it. This then makes me feel like pap and I know it's not being kind to myself but I can't help it.
I'm sure looking after your guests will be really good for you in the rocket up the bum sense as it'll be a switch of focus. I often find if I have a switch if focus it helps.
I think often situations and our feelings don't just come down to one thing. It might be for you a mixture of burnout and inertia and other things going on.
Now that I know I'm autistic, I can see I've had mini bouts of burnout and inertia in the distant past and longer ones in more recent years. This is protracted though. I'm sure it's getting worse as I get older.
In between them, I'm quite an industrious person ordinarily...inertia maybe going the other way into hyperfocus; too busy on a single thing for my own good.
I've been through a lot in recent years and I'm wondering whether the trauma of dealing with MH or feeling in limbo with another personal issue which has dragged on has something to do with it, or whether I'm still burnt out too.
What you say about other people is good though. I have some Ukrainian guests arriving next week. Maybe looking after them will put a rocket up my bum and make me look after me too.
