School Trauma?

I struggled with Primary school during the late 70s into the mid 1980s.
The whole thing - noise, chopping and changes to routine, the school bell, fire alarm etc.
The move to Comp school in 1986 was much worse - an entire new enviroment, new class, new teachers, new people, new structure to my normal day and a lot more pressures & expectation.
It was very hard work.

I would go home for Lunch - as the dinner hall was too much for me; too crowded & noisy (and smelly).
After lunch, I'd struggle to get motivated to go back to school and return for another 3 hours of mental struggle..

After School trips, I would return home and shut myself in my room, put on my headphones to listen to music.
After a weeks residential, during the autumn of 1986, I came home and I was totally finished - the whole week was too much to cope with.
I shared a dorm with 6 other boys - 4 of them were the school pain in the a*ses - and did nothing but mess about all night.
One even set off the Fire Alarm at 3AM and turfed the entire hostel out into the cold for an hour.

I plodded on - with the old "Tummy Ache" and "Feeling Sick" story wearing thin - and Parents & Teachers thinking I was being bullied (which I wasn't).

It was during the Spring the next year - I was knocked down, by a buffoon driving a Volvo down a pavement - and ended up with numerous serious cuts & bruises and a Fratured Skull - putting me in hospital for 2 weeks.
For me - that accident - was in an odd way, a strange blessing - it got me away from school (on a serious note - it could have actually killed me) - in the time I had away from the school - I did my own learning - at my own pace and in my own time.
I learned to code a ZX Spectrum computer to create my own games and software; I learned to play the Piano/Keyboards; we grew Veg in the garden; had more time to read up & learn about my Electronics Hobby and also make animated films with an 8mm camera. (Yes - pre digtial camera days).

By the time it was safe to go back to school - we had moved house - well away from the area - more rural.
And I returned to school - a different Comp.
All this change & new comp had me stressed for weeks - that was until I started at school; and found it was a totally different atmosphere; the kids were more friendly (even the idiots!) and the teachers treated pupils with respect - and as adults.
If a pupil had a Hobby or Interest - it was used to aid their education
That Mainstream Comp was the place for me and I settled in really well- I wish I had started then earlier.

Thanks to that Comp - I was able to persue my interest in Computer Games/Software; making films as part of my education.

I feel like my years at Primary school and early Comp Years were a total waste of time - as I have never felt as if I have achieved anything at all. Each day was filled with Worry, Anxiety, Stress, being overwhelmed, worried about change & getting home each day and shutting myself away to recover.

My youngest son is Autistic - and he struggled through primary school; and lasted 6 weeks in comp before we had to remove him - he's now homeschooled and we have never looked back.

What horrifies me, is how un-educated Teachers were - many have told me, that if I had been the school system today - chances are, something with me would have been picked up sooner - and I would have got some kind of diagnosis.
Back then our attitudes were very different.

I wasn't diagnosed with ASD until I reached my early 20s. And that was thanks to support from a workplace Doctor.

Bit of a life story - but I still today think back to my early school years and shudder - thinking "How the hell did I get through it"...

I struggled with Primary school during the late 70s into the mid 1980s.
The whole thing - noise, chopping and changes to routine, the school bell, fire alarm etc.
The move to Comp school in 1986 was much worse - an entire new enviroment, new class, new teachers, new people, new structure to my normal day and a lot more pressures & expectation.
It was very hard work.

I would go home for Lunch - as the dinner hall was too much for me; too crowded & noisy (and smelly).
After lunch, I'd struggle to get motivated to go back to school and return for another 3 hours of mental struggle..

After School trips, I would return home and shut myself in my room, put on my headphones to listen to music.
After a weeks residential, during the autumn of 1986, I came home and I was totally finished - the whole week was too much to cope with.
I shared a dorm with 6 other boys - 4 of them were the school pain in the a*ses - and did nothing but mess about all night.
One even set off the Fire Alarm at 3AM and turfed the entire hostel out into the cold for an hour.

I plodded on - with the old "Tummy Ache" and "Feeling Sick" story wearing thin - and Parents & Teachers thinking I was being bullied (which I wasn't).

It was during the Spring the next year - I was knocked down, by a buffoon driving a Volvo down a pavement - and ended up with numerous serious cuts & bruises and a Fratured Skull - putting me in hospital for 2 weeks.
For me - that accident - was in an odd way, a strange blessing - it got me away from school (on a serious note - it could have actually killed me) - in the time I had away from the school - I did my own learning - at my own pace and in my own time.
I learned to code a ZX Spectrum computer to create my own games and software; I learned to play the Piano/Keyboards; we grew Veg in the garden; had more time to read up & learn about my Electronics Hobby and also make animated films with an 8mm camera. (Yes - pre digtial camera days).

By the time it was safe to go back to school - we had moved house - well away from the area - more rural.
And I returned to school - a different Comp.
All this change & new comp had me stressed for weeks - that was until I started at school; and found it was a totally different atmosphere; the kids were more friendly (even the idiots!) and the teachers treated pupils with respect - and as adults.
If a pupil had a Hobby or Interest - it was used to aid their education
That Mainstream Comp was the place for me and I settled in really well- I wish I had started then earlier.

Thanks to that Comp - I was able to persue my interest in Computer Games/Software; making films as part of my education.

I feel like my years at Primary school and early Comp Years were a total waste of time - as I have never felt as if I have achieved anything at all. Each day was filled with Worry, Anxiety, Stress, being overwhelmed, worried about change & getting home each day and shutting myself away to recover.

My youngest son is Autistic - and he struggled through primary school; and lasted 6 weeks in comp before we had to remove him - he's now homeschooled and we have never looked back.

What horrifies me, is how un-educated Teachers were - many have told me, that if I had been the school system today - chances are, something with me would have been picked up sooner - and I would have got some kind of diagnosis.
Back then our attitudes were very different.

I wasn't diagnosed with ASD until I reached my early 20s. And that was thanks to support from a workplace Doctor.

Bit of a life story - but I still today think back to my early school years and shudder - thinking "How the hell did I get through it"...