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NAS83572
over 1 year ago

Hello all. I'm Lauren and I'm new here. I strongly suspect that I'm autistic but no-one apart from my sister understands unfortunately.

I'm posting here today as I'd just like some advice!

I have acquired a new friendship group in the form of mothers from my children's school. At the beginning I was happy to meet up for cups of coffee or going on an occasional night out, but they're doing this really regularly now, sometimes 3-4 times a week, as well as seeing each other at the morning and afternoon school run. I'm not comfortable with doing this as I really love to be alone everyday. They're even talking about having group family holidays which makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.

They don't understand why I'm not interested in doing these things with them? They keep pressing me, insisting they must have done something wrong to me or I'm angry with them for something because I keep making excuses not to see them. 

They say that I'm avoiding them, and in fairness I am avoiding them. It seems that the more they press me on the issue, the more i want to avoid them. I just really dont want to see people everyday. And anyone I ask for advice just doesnt understand! Does anyone here understand please? I do have 4 boys under 8 so I'm burnt out most of the time anyway...

Thank you! 

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    I understand how you feel. Though I'm gonna be honest and just say I felt like I couldn't use "I'm just too tired and need a quiet day" as I only have one kid but I did (technically not a lie) lie through my back teeth and say "I'd love to make every meet but I just can't because of scheduling issues and work from home I have to get done".
    And I have never felt bad for using that white lie for my self presservation, allistics white lie all the time for theirs so why not us too?
    Also I would hate meeting other parents because all they wanna talk about is small talk which I'm bad at anyway, well not bad at but like that's opener stuff, once I open I wanna change topic and not to the topic of kids like in the early years it becomes our whole thing so when talking to adults I wanna talk about other stuff instead, I really hated the "you are a parent now and have no other identity" mentality of early years parent meet-ups.

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  • over 1 year ago

    I understand how you feel. Though I'm gonna be honest and just say I felt like I couldn't use "I'm just too tired and need a quiet day" as I only have one kid but I did (technically not a lie) lie through my back teeth and say "I'd love to make every meet but I just can't because of scheduling issues and work from home I have to get done".
    And I have never felt bad for using that white lie for my self presservation, allistics white lie all the time for theirs so why not us too?
    Also I would hate meeting other parents because all they wanna talk about is small talk which I'm bad at anyway, well not bad at but like that's opener stuff, once I open I wanna change topic and not to the topic of kids like in the early years it becomes our whole thing so when talking to adults I wanna talk about other stuff instead, I really hated the "you are a parent now and have no other identity" mentality of early years parent meet-ups.

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