Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello all. I'm Lauren and I'm new here. I strongly suspect that I'm autistic but no-one apart from my sister understands unfortunately.
I'm posting here today as I'd just like some advice!
I have acquired a new friendship group in the form of mothers from my children's school. At the beginning I was happy to meet up for cups of coffee or going on an occasional night out, but they're doing this really regularly now, sometimes 3-4 times a week, as well as seeing each other at the morning and afternoon school run. I'm not comfortable with doing this as I really love to be alone everyday. They're even talking about having group family holidays which makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
They don't understand why I'm not interested in doing these things with them? They keep pressing me, insisting they must have done something wrong to me or I'm angry with them for something because I keep making excuses not to see them.
They say that I'm avoiding them, and in fairness I am avoiding them. It seems that the more they press me on the issue, the more i want to avoid them. I just really dont want to see people everyday. And anyone I ask for advice just doesnt understand! Does anyone here understand please? I do have 4 boys under 8 so I'm burnt out most of the time anyway...
Thank you!
That sounds like a lot even for people I know who are not autistic and a nightmare for those who are. I find friendship being pushed on me to be difficult as it has to be on my terms. Its nice they are including you but set your boundaries so everyone knows where they stand. (I can't stay, I've got to go....I can only really do Tuesdays...)
I'm not a parent but I often wonder how I'd deal with all this stuff and I think "what would Liz off Motherland do...."
Not only that but I'm suffering with endometriosis too. So I'm in pain a lot of the time which only exacerbates my feelings and my sensory issues.
Thank you for your response. I think they're pressuring me because in the beginning I was happy to meet up regularly but I was always feeling burnt out afterwards so now they're under the impression that I've changed (going from being "social" to apparently avoiding them). I put social in quotes because it was just me masking rather than being social.