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Hate socialising but want a best friend?

NAS83527

Im f23 and autistic and i just hate socialising. ive had friends here and there at different points in my life but i always felt like I wasnt quite like them and it was still too draining to be around them often. I have my boyfriend of 2.5 yrs and I love him and hes definitely my best friend but I just wish sometimes I had someone else outside the relationship. now that im done school and working full time i dont meet people often and im very hesistant to join clubs/classes as im already exhausted all the time from work and I just dont want to fall into masking habits for people I may or may not even like. and i work for a small company of people all much older than me with nothing in common and they dont know im autistic (they just think im weird) so i think im just at a dead end for this point in my life, just wanted to vent. thanks for reading lol

  • I'm 48 and mum to a 10 year old girl. I've not been diagnosed and in fact I never thought I was autistic until I had my daughter and started noticing things in her that I had experienced myself too. I've always struggled with friendships because I find them hard work and I can't bear to be around people who I find annoying. I made a really good friend at secondary school who used to be almost entirely responsible for my social life and in fact I wouldn't have met my husband without her. She had many friends and used to organise all our nights out, even holidays and it was easy to leave all the "boring, organising stuff" to her. She was my best friend and for a long time we were inseparable, but sadly she had her own mental health issues to deal with and 3 years ago we lost her to cancer. I am now in a similar situation to you. I have a husband, who I love, but I am longing to find a friend who I can talk to about everything. I've been searching for various groups ("mums with autism", "social anxiety groups", etc) anywhere where I might be able to find people with similar experiences to me, but even on this site I'm struggling. I just wanted to write this and tell you you are not alone. 

  • there would have to be a way to socialise with your friend that's acceptable to you. I meet my friends night-time in a park when there is nobody around, or we meet at a flat of one of us.