not sure if I have autism or not. Can autism traits get less intense as you age

I have a few autism symptoms, that were a lot stronger when I was younger.

  • I used to eating the same food everyday (that had to be prepared by the same person). I still do that but nowadays I can eat food prepared by different people.

  • always had to used the same silverware, the same cups and plates.

  • watched the same movie several times. Nowadays I don’t do that but i listen to the same music repeatedly.

  • dislike of loud noises ( like music in parties) and strong smells ( sometimes I would even vomit because of it), which I still do nowadays

  • I would not play with my toys but only organize them.

  • I had an obsession with animals, which I spent years on, making lists of classifications and memorizing names. I had the same thing for country names and flags and learning new languages . Nowadays I still have this sometimes, but the obsessions are much shorter. Currently I’m obsessed with finding out if Im autistic or not.

  • I stim a lot ( rock back and forth , spinning , flapping).

  • I hate being touched in certain parts of my body (wrist, forearm and chest) and i hate affection. I refuse to have romantic or sexual relationships. If anyone develops any kind of attraction for me then I immediately panic.

-  I don’t know how to say stuff like happy birthday to people. So I usually don’t say anything. It also took me some years to learn what to speak during online conversations.

  • I’m very nervous when doing something for the first time, like traveling.

  • I used not care about friendships or relationships at all. That includes having very few friends and not missing them at all.

Nowadays (after starting taking anxiety medication) I have a lot of friends and social skills that I considered to be very good, until someone i know told me I am a nosy person that ask way too many inappropriate questions ( things I had never noticed before) and that I could be autistic. this is the reason Im writing this.

I thought about booking an appointment with a psychologist in order to test if I’m autistic or not, but I’m kinda of embarrassed of doing that and telling my parents about it. Im not sure if I should do that or not.

I should also mention that I have ocd and suspect I had odd ( oppositional defiant disorder) as a child. Could these symptoms be caused by these?

Parents
  • I thought this for the longest of times, I thought well I got the diagnosis in the 90's which was like the dark ages as far as autism diagnoses went. And also because I knew a kid who is on the spectrum becomes an adult who is on the spectrum and there is no "growing out of it", so I never understood why I seemed to generally "get better" as I got older until I realised I had actually been developing stronger ways of masking over the decades.
    But it wasn't really coping in the truest sense because it was just squashing how I feel deep down and further until I would have a melt down and then start the cycle all over again.
    Now I try to be more open so I don't have to mask as much around people I can trust more, and only put on the mask again when I feel more vulnerable around newer people I need to build that trust with first.

    So you are not alone if you think you are losing traits or their intensity as you age, because that seems to be quite common actually and it's just because of the ways we consiously or subconsiously learn to adapt to try make it easier to interact with the non autistic world.

Reply
  • I thought this for the longest of times, I thought well I got the diagnosis in the 90's which was like the dark ages as far as autism diagnoses went. And also because I knew a kid who is on the spectrum becomes an adult who is on the spectrum and there is no "growing out of it", so I never understood why I seemed to generally "get better" as I got older until I realised I had actually been developing stronger ways of masking over the decades.
    But it wasn't really coping in the truest sense because it was just squashing how I feel deep down and further until I would have a melt down and then start the cycle all over again.
    Now I try to be more open so I don't have to mask as much around people I can trust more, and only put on the mask again when I feel more vulnerable around newer people I need to build that trust with first.

    So you are not alone if you think you are losing traits or their intensity as you age, because that seems to be quite common actually and it's just because of the ways we consiously or subconsiously learn to adapt to try make it easier to interact with the non autistic world.

Children
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