not sure if I have autism or not. Can autism traits get less intense as you age

I have a few autism symptoms, that were a lot stronger when I was younger.

  • I used to eating the same food everyday (that had to be prepared by the same person). I still do that but nowadays I can eat food prepared by different people.

  • always had to used the same silverware, the same cups and plates.

  • watched the same movie several times. Nowadays I don’t do that but i listen to the same music repeatedly.

  • dislike of loud noises ( like music in parties) and strong smells ( sometimes I would even vomit because of it), which I still do nowadays

  • I would not play with my toys but only organize them.

  • I had an obsession with animals, which I spent years on, making lists of classifications and memorizing names. I had the same thing for country names and flags and learning new languages . Nowadays I still have this sometimes, but the obsessions are much shorter. Currently I’m obsessed with finding out if Im autistic or not.

  • I stim a lot ( rock back and forth , spinning , flapping).

  • I hate being touched in certain parts of my body (wrist, forearm and chest) and i hate affection. I refuse to have romantic or sexual relationships. If anyone develops any kind of attraction for me then I immediately panic.

-  I don’t know how to say stuff like happy birthday to people. So I usually don’t say anything. It also took me some years to learn what to speak during online conversations.

  • I’m very nervous when doing something for the first time, like traveling.

  • I used not care about friendships or relationships at all. That includes having very few friends and not missing them at all.

Nowadays (after starting taking anxiety medication) I have a lot of friends and social skills that I considered to be very good, until someone i know told me I am a nosy person that ask way too many inappropriate questions ( things I had never noticed before) and that I could be autistic. this is the reason Im writing this.

I thought about booking an appointment with a psychologist in order to test if I’m autistic or not, but I’m kinda of embarrassed of doing that and telling my parents about it. Im not sure if I should do that or not.

I should also mention that I have ocd and suspect I had odd ( oppositional defiant disorder) as a child. Could these symptoms be caused by these?

Parents
  • Oh boy certainly sounds like you are one of us. Woo wooo! Well done on the identification - not that we can give you a diagnosis of course..

    ...but err yeah, to answer your question, no traits do not lessen with age, but they can become more hidden with age...and then pop up again. Basically, you learn to disguise them until you can't.

    We learn to mask, pretend to be "normal", appear less autistic ...but that only actually damages us and we never are neurotypical, because we can't be.

    Other sensitivities change over time...a roast dinner made me vomit in my youth, but I can just about tolerate that now.

    But good news is, grab ahold of your autistic identity and you can be a healthy happy autistic person, not a failed neurotypical person. Welcome

Reply
  • Oh boy certainly sounds like you are one of us. Woo wooo! Well done on the identification - not that we can give you a diagnosis of course..

    ...but err yeah, to answer your question, no traits do not lessen with age, but they can become more hidden with age...and then pop up again. Basically, you learn to disguise them until you can't.

    We learn to mask, pretend to be "normal", appear less autistic ...but that only actually damages us and we never are neurotypical, because we can't be.

    Other sensitivities change over time...a roast dinner made me vomit in my youth, but I can just about tolerate that now.

    But good news is, grab ahold of your autistic identity and you can be a healthy happy autistic person, not a failed neurotypical person. Welcome

Children
  • You have expressed this aspect really well (in my opinion).......

    Basically, you learn to disguise them until you can't.

    However, you have rather understated the reality for some of us with your use of the phrase "pop up" in this part..........

    to answer your question, no traits do not lessen with age, but they can become more hidden with age...and then pop up again.

    Please forgive the rather graphic imagery I am about to invoke........but in my personal experience, it wasn't a "pop up again" sensation, it was more akin to a bloated dead whale finally exploding whilst being repeatedly hit by lightening and heavy artillery fire!!

    Forgive me Dawn, it is absolutely not my intention to criticise what you have written - I am sure you are right in the majority of cases, I just wanted to clarify for any others who come across this thread in the future and who are at risk of, or who have experienced, my more visceral manifestation/realisation of autism later in life.

    Finally, for the record Dawn, I really value reading your contributions on these pages - your wisdom shines!

  • of course I’m still not sure if I’m autistic or not, but I don’t do certain things i mentioned anymore, like eating with same fork every day. ( though I still eat with the same plate and the same food). Could that be masking?  But I have decided to book the appointment to get tested, I’m just trying to find the right psychologist for it!