How do you fill your time off work?

I know exactly what you mean about 'not being useful'!! It can be very hard to do something that isn't 'productive', but yes you're right we should definitely challenge that line of thought

you're quite right about it being a good idea to challenge yourself and step outside the comfort zone, that's a good way of thinking about it!

I find that making up a list of things to do helps a lot. It creates a sort of sub-routine to substitute for the missing work list. I tend to keep the same before and after work routine to make sure it's not too much of a change. But yes, I don't particularly like the change itself, but I do like the time dedicated to what I like.

And yes it's things as simple as gaming in the morning after breakfast, lunch with a film, and gardening in the afternoon. Just having the plan helps lol. It also helps my partner usually finds lists of home maintenance things lol

Hi Lemoncello,

I have this fear of time off too, and usually lose a large portion of my holiday allowance each year. I've been working on it and for me I think I may have to change to my home surroundings to make it more user friendly for me.  It's not a place I traditionally relax as I'm used to having a reason to be places where I mask, I haven't worked out how to just "be" in a space that isn't "useful". Even hobbies seemed pointless because I was convinced that there was no point because a week wouldn't be enough (I have a time thing). I usually end up just sleeping. 

I think if I create some friendlier spaces at home it might get easier.  And a time tracker app like Tiimo my help me with time.  I was never a really a problem before the lockdowns. Also, the fear of trying to organise some kind of out of home holiday feels so overwhelming too. Baby steps though.

now theres an idea!

Minecraft.!.!.

I took a day off today (planned holiday) not to get a break from work, but family life.. she’s in work and the kids are in school.. but whew!! I wish I didn’t 

I fill my time off work with exhausted sleep. Working = burnout for me in most scenarios, so any time off is recovery time. 

For your workplace, there may be policies that say that employees have to take some time away - they'll see the benefits of time away on mental health and performance. A well-rested employee that's had a great time away will be an employee that's going to perform better.

Workplaces are also conscious that time away can highlight where the business is unable to function without key employees, or where employees have been running scams that weren't discovered until they stepped away from the office, so for a workplace, there can be selfish reasons why they want all their staff to take holidays too.

It's difficult if you're dependent on a routine, but it's maybe a good thing to break that routine once in a while, and unlock the handcuffs that bind us. Going somewhere different means that we don't have the same boundaries, expectations, commitments and we can explore a different side of ourselves, do things that we maybe would feel too confined to do at home. The great thing about doing that is also that at the end of the holiday, we can go back to our usual routine with maybe a bit of a spark in our step, and some thoughts of next time.

Perhaps that means unstructured - going somewhere snowy, taking some ski lessons and spending days skiing down to a great little cafe where you can veg out on the sofa with a hot chocolate, whilst nobody around us knows us and we can be who we want to be.

Planning a holiday can also benefit from our attention to detail and structure -  even if it means having a staycation, or going off to Florida for some winter sun, mapping out days, thinking about activities, can take a lot of focus and structure, things we're good at. If we know what we're doing, where we're going, what we want to see, it can make the idea of taking time away a bit easier. 

I would say make the most of it. Your employer has good reason for making sure that employees take time off. It's an opportunity to be yourself, instead of just a 9-5 employee for you too.

Do you need to take a full week off all at once?

Would you be able to just take Wednesdays off for a few weeks instead, for example?

That way the adjustment between work & non-work will be less of an impact.

Also, during that time, maybe schedule binge watching a box set, or giving the house a really good clean, one room per week.

Lemoncello said:

Does anyone else dread taking time off work?

YES!

Lol I can't function well if my routine is disturbed and six days of typing in an office IS my routine. I don't know what to do and can't do anything when I know I should be at work working.

When I am forced to use up holiday I do painting or listen to my favourite CD. Spend time in the garden. It helps but I still have that deep unhappiness at that I should be at work.

I never get bored. Taking early retirement was one of the best decisions I have ever made.I am now much more relaxed than I ever was when working, admittedly my job was quite demanding.

That's some really good advice, thank you! I feel like autistic folk spend an awful lot of time letting go of stuff you get told is 'just what people do' haha

I used to worry that I wasted my time off. I never planned what to do, didn’t go on holiday etc…it’s only this last year that I’ve realised I don’t have to do anything specific. That’s just what ‘people do’. I don’t feel the need. I just rest and unwind, and do whatever I feel like. I no longer feel bad for it. If I were in your shoes, I would make a few plans doing something nice for a few days of the week.  Just so you fill your time better. Nice could be anything at all. Trying a new recipe, baking a cake, going for a walk in a new place, visiting a museum, seeing a relative or watching something on tv.

I usually have to take time off in full weeks, which I hate. But I still like the time off. It is so hard to get back into the routine after this short time out. I forget all the little things when starting back, like a password, or to sign in…etc etc…. Ugh. I just try and switch to ‘work me’ when I walk in,,,

You're so right about just letting yourself relax, I'll have to remind myself of it certainly!

House chores are a good idea, I've been meaning to give the fridge a good clean...

I find it difficult to change between work routine and non work days. I look forward to days off for a rest then often don't make the most of it.

I find it helps if the weather is fine so I can go for walks. The best time off work I have had is when I have taken two weeks off. It gives time to unwind and enjoy watching TV just to chill out.

There's no reason you have to use them all at once. Maybe book one Friday off each month so you can get an extra long weekend, and adapt that into your routine. 

I work in a school so there are routines to when time off happens, but I need the breaks as I get overloaded.

I feel you! This is something I really struggle with too - all that unstructured time. I also find myself getting 'sad' as you put it, as I tend to retreat into my head when I have nothing to do and it's not a fun place to be.

That said, it's so important to take your holiday. Paid leave is your right and you deserve it as much as anyone else. What helps me is setting a routine just for that week: so I'll try to get up at the same time each day and follow the same routine each morning (breakfast then shower then chores etc). 

Also if you have free time and there's something you enjoy doing, just do it! I sometimes feel guilty sitting around watching YouTube videos for hours on my days off, but honestly where's the harm? If there's nothing important that needs doing, and you have no other plans, you might as well just do what you enjoy. I sometimes feel pressure to find fun things to do, so that when my colleagues ask how my leave was, I have something interesting to tell them. But honestly it isn't any of their business!

I never held down a job, but get stressed; just with Housework and Zoom.