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Relationship confusion - they need space

Luna

Hi, 

I've had a really good relationship with someone who is also autistic for just over 2 months. Going great, we really understand each other and communicate well. Suddenly, they end it because the anxiety of hurting my feelings either now or in the future due to not knowing how to act or finding all the things about a relationship to anxiety ridden too much. They've said they need to think about if the positives outweigh the anxiety they experience until Thursday (ended on Wednesday). Says it's nothing to do with me and they'd like to get into a place where we can be together but unsure if they can do it.

Painful because I know they've had relationships in the past (I.e. what's not balancing out with this one) plus time wise seems like they've not given it a chance at all. 

Does this sound like reasonable anxiety space thought process or just not good? 

Also, how is my brain supposed to survive until Thursday :( 

Further context - we are late 30s/ early 40s

Please help :(

  • in reply to Luna

    p.s. I'm aware you can't be in this person's head I'm just completely without any idea of what's going on!! :)

  • in reply to Glitter

    thanks so much for your response. I think the thing that's throwing me off is they still want to message, which to me is not what a break looks like? Am I confused and would it be better for me to not or are they really needing reassurance as this is panic?

  • in reply to Luna

    Not exactly the same, but before we were married my partner asked for a break, took a break, realised it was not worth it and we got back together.  We both know that the break and their moment of experimentation was required and I think our relationship is better for it, but it was uncomfortable for me at the time.  But I knew that we both worked so well together so when they wanted to get back together I said yes straight away. We've now been together for 15 years.

  • in reply to Luna

    Have you been in their position and actually meant well?

  • in reply to Glitter

    Thanks for this Glitter. They still want to message and seem to be finding things hard but at the same time I don't want to have MY inability to read motive used for stringing me along :( :(

  • It could be that something from a previous relationship is what is causing anxiety in this one.

    It could just be a moment of panic because it IS going well and that means commitment and change.

    It might be the fact that they care about you more us giving them more worry that they will hurt you.

    On the other hand, if they're autistic then they're more likely to be honest about their reasons and they should get back to you at the appointed time.  You just have to hang in there for a bit because this is what they need.