How to make her get diagnosed

It's very difficult as every person is different  and what's good for one is not good for another. Let me explain..my son got diagnosed at 18 and tbh I wonder if it would've been better to just have let him be and not know.The thing is a lot of people don't understand how huge getting diagnosed is for not only the person being diagnosed but for the husband or daughter and grandparents relatives work colleagues etc yes it spreads that far..the reason being is that after diagnosed the person is faced with having to cope with a massive shock about how they are different from others this is especially difficult for someone the older they are it is easier when someone young like diagnosed in as a child ie 5 etc as they can have time to adjust..when your older it's harder to adjust to these things..sadly there is not all positive news out there when it comes to autism.yes there are still a lot of ignorance..after diagnosis my son started looking on line to understand his autism.and came across a lot of negatives and he got very depressed. Also his own grandparents didn't want to know him  as they have to look at themselves they may be autistic etc.. or there son maybe autistic who is my sons father..so his friends dropped off one by one ..him being diagnosed was in all honesty a bombshell..not meaning to make this about me but trying to give you an idea of why your wife may feel reluctant to get diagnosed. Also my son for about 5 yr after his diagnosis was like "I'm.not autistic autistic people are retards" etc so your wife may now feel like that or something else  and so she doesn't want to admit to herself..its not nice it's very uncomfortable..she may also struggle after diagnosis to come to terms with it..it took my son 5 yr to accept it diagnosis isn't a magic wand. I am not trying to be negative just trying to give you a flavour of why it might be so difficult for her..as there are some things that maybe your not seeing as to why she's holding back. My advice would be to carry on trying to get her diagnosed especially as she is not a child and is a older adult BUT in advance have things in place like professional counsellor get her booked in to talk to one after diagnosis get ahead of it by talking to her friends relatives educate them on autism and how they can be positive about it and you also can do same for her..she needs things in place so she can see.the positive side of it...find positive and helpful videos of people with autism she can watch etc..don't let it happen all hap hazard as one thing that does help people with asd is things being calm and in order.You can even put diagnosis on hold for a bit a maybe just at a slow pace just drop things into the conversation like oh such and such (some famous person that she may admire) is autistic etc ...have a video playing when she comes into the room that may have people talking about how they discovered they were autistic  and how it worked out well for them..did that help I hope so. Also as Glitter says you must not force her either is she is reluctant to the point where force is needed then that's a different thing altogether.sorry 4 the long post I'm just hoping there are some nuggets in there you can use to help.

It's very difficult as every person is different  and what's good for one is not good for another. Let me explain..my son got diagnosed at 18 and tbh I wonder if it would've been better to just have let him be and not know.The thing is a lot of people don't understand how huge getting diagnosed is for not only the person being diagnosed but for the husband or daughter and grandparents relatives work colleagues etc yes it spreads that far..the reason being is that after diagnosed the person is faced with having to cope with a massive shock about how they are different from others this is especially difficult for someone the older they are it is easier when someone young like diagnosed in as a child ie 5 etc as they can have time to adjust..when your older it's harder to adjust to these things..sadly there is not all positive news out there when it comes to autism.yes there are still a lot of ignorance..after diagnosis my son started looking on line to understand his autism.and came across a lot of negatives and he got very depressed. Also his own grandparents didn't want to know him  as they have to look at themselves they may be autistic etc.. or there son maybe autistic who is my sons father..so his friends dropped off one by one ..him being diagnosed was in all honesty a bombshell..not meaning to make this about me but trying to give you an idea of why your wife may feel reluctant to get diagnosed. Also my son for about 5 yr after his diagnosis was like "I'm.not autistic autistic people are retards" etc so your wife may now feel like that or something else  and so she doesn't want to admit to herself..its not nice it's very uncomfortable..she may also struggle after diagnosis to come to terms with it..it took my son 5 yr to accept it diagnosis isn't a magic wand. I am not trying to be negative just trying to give you a flavour of why it might be so difficult for her..as there are some things that maybe your not seeing as to why she's holding back. My advice would be to carry on trying to get her diagnosed especially as she is not a child and is a older adult BUT in advance have things in place like professional counsellor get her booked in to talk to one after diagnosis get ahead of it by talking to her friends relatives educate them on autism and how they can be positive about it and you also can do same for her..she needs things in place so she can see.the positive side of it...find positive and helpful videos of people with autism she can watch etc..don't let it happen all hap hazard as one thing that does help people with asd is things being calm and in order.You can even put diagnosis on hold for a bit a maybe just at a slow pace just drop things into the conversation like oh such and such (some famous person that she may admire) is autistic etc ...have a video playing when she comes into the room that may have people talking about how they discovered they were autistic  and how it worked out well for them..did that help I hope so. Also as Glitter says you must not force her either is she is reluctant to the point where force is needed then that's a different thing altogether.sorry 4 the long post I'm just hoping there are some nuggets in there you can use to help.