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Want more independence, but afraid

Hope

I am getting to the point now where I am outliving my support workers, and would like to be more independent. But at the same time I am very afraid about what the future might bring, because I only have a few friends (all with Aspergers, and no best friends), and I still have many issues that I need support with. I also fear change.

My goal in life is to get off benefits and have a full time, secure job. But the trap I am in is that I am prevented from doing many jobs due to the way my brain works. If I did not have OCD and panic, I would happily take a cleaning job or other repetitive  job - I have a strong work ethic and love routine and structure; as long as I am told what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by!.

I currently have a part time job, only 7 hours a week on  permitted ESA work, and I do a lot of volunteering, too. I envy 'normal' people who have proper jobs, like my brother. He also has a girlfriend, and although he still lives at home with my parents, he is more independent than I am, and I have my own flat!.

I have set myself a goal: work at my current job for another year, work on my anxieties, and then apply for other jobs. I hate being disabled because it stops me from working, and I love to work!. I also love my independence, but I am not independent.

I don't mind having Aspergers, and I like parts of myself that are probably connected to the Aspergers anyway, like my high level of motivation, willingness to work hard etc. But the negatives sadly negate the positives.

I crave 'normality': a full time job, no support, an independent income, and freedom from fear.

Parents

  • quote Longman "Perhaps NAS could set up something on their website to explore job types suited to people on the spectrum."

    Great idea !

    The DWP should also have a specialist job section for people with conditions, autism and the like. With employers or specialist employers, even getting grants from the government, so it pays them to employ people who have special needs in some way. In lieu of competing with the rat pack with there "loki seed"(loki is the trickster) Nt advantage.

    What I found is the reality of government policy is the opposite of what is simply needed, they will give millions of pounds to ATOS organisations and organisation alike(even the NAS), whilst talking in caring tongues to the forum(voters), but it just money to the boys, a public purse to friends in high places. Maybe,  if the vulnerable people including the elderly in society were allowed 1000 votes each, society may pay more attention to vulnerable people, until then it is still survival of the fittest and corruptest. So unless your a fully fit and fighting,, you are a casualty of capitalism, because the weak have no voice and the ones who advocate speaking for them through data collecting are just connected friends of the capitalism system, so will speak out so far when it only suits policy agenda but mostly shut up, due to being bought with hush money contributions.

     

     

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  • quote Longman "Perhaps NAS could set up something on their website to explore job types suited to people on the spectrum."

    Great idea !

    The DWP should also have a specialist job section for people with conditions, autism and the like. With employers or specialist employers, even getting grants from the government, so it pays them to employ people who have special needs in some way. In lieu of competing with the rat pack with there "loki seed"(loki is the trickster) Nt advantage.

    What I found is the reality of government policy is the opposite of what is simply needed, they will give millions of pounds to ATOS organisations and organisation alike(even the NAS), whilst talking in caring tongues to the forum(voters), but it just money to the boys, a public purse to friends in high places. Maybe,  if the vulnerable people including the elderly in society were allowed 1000 votes each, society may pay more attention to vulnerable people, until then it is still survival of the fittest and corruptest. So unless your a fully fit and fighting,, you are a casualty of capitalism, because the weak have no voice and the ones who advocate speaking for them through data collecting are just connected friends of the capitalism system, so will speak out so far when it only suits policy agenda but mostly shut up, due to being bought with hush money contributions.

     

     

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