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Want more independence, but afraid

Hope

I am getting to the point now where I am outliving my support workers, and would like to be more independent. But at the same time I am very afraid about what the future might bring, because I only have a few friends (all with Aspergers, and no best friends), and I still have many issues that I need support with. I also fear change.

My goal in life is to get off benefits and have a full time, secure job. But the trap I am in is that I am prevented from doing many jobs due to the way my brain works. If I did not have OCD and panic, I would happily take a cleaning job or other repetitive  job - I have a strong work ethic and love routine and structure; as long as I am told what needs to be done and when it needs to be done by!.

I currently have a part time job, only 7 hours a week on  permitted ESA work, and I do a lot of volunteering, too. I envy 'normal' people who have proper jobs, like my brother. He also has a girlfriend, and although he still lives at home with my parents, he is more independent than I am, and I have my own flat!.

I have set myself a goal: work at my current job for another year, work on my anxieties, and then apply for other jobs. I hate being disabled because it stops me from working, and I love to work!. I also love my independence, but I am not independent.

I don't mind having Aspergers, and I like parts of myself that are probably connected to the Aspergers anyway, like my high level of motivation, willingness to work hard etc. But the negatives sadly negate the positives.

I crave 'normality': a full time job, no support, an independent income, and freedom from fear.

Parents

  • There are jobs around that get you away from having to socially integrate, although I wasn't able to avoid the latter - I've always struggled with the fitting in at work thing.

    But some parts of jobs appeal: filing, or re-reganising, and structuring documents or data usually scare people off so it is something I could get to do on my own, no botherers coming near.

    I've a great respect for cleaners - where would we be without them, but it is astonishing how much social stigma seems to attach to this vocation. Cleaning is an occupation where you could find absorbing work with minimum contact with others. And there is so much more to it than just "mrs mop" - the technology involved can be quite substantial. Janitoral services and building maintenance are also becoming more respectable, and waste operatives have much more varied prospects than just emptying bins.

    Then there's many jobs related to the construction industry, building maintenance, transport, catering, health care.....

    What stops many people doing these jobs is family committments - they therefore attract single people who are ok with isolation. Also they are jobs where you can be set a task and left to get on with it.

    Perhaps NAS could set up something on their website to explore job types suited to people on the spectrum.

Reply

  • There are jobs around that get you away from having to socially integrate, although I wasn't able to avoid the latter - I've always struggled with the fitting in at work thing.

    But some parts of jobs appeal: filing, or re-reganising, and structuring documents or data usually scare people off so it is something I could get to do on my own, no botherers coming near.

    I've a great respect for cleaners - where would we be without them, but it is astonishing how much social stigma seems to attach to this vocation. Cleaning is an occupation where you could find absorbing work with minimum contact with others. And there is so much more to it than just "mrs mop" - the technology involved can be quite substantial. Janitoral services and building maintenance are also becoming more respectable, and waste operatives have much more varied prospects than just emptying bins.

    Then there's many jobs related to the construction industry, building maintenance, transport, catering, health care.....

    What stops many people doing these jobs is family committments - they therefore attract single people who are ok with isolation. Also they are jobs where you can be set a task and left to get on with it.

    Perhaps NAS could set up something on their website to explore job types suited to people on the spectrum.

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