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Romantic Attachment changing ASD

737maxpilot

I don't know if this is the case for everyone, whenever my ASD girlfriend has some good quality bonding time with me, it often follows with a day or two burst of NT behaviour. She suddenly seems to be able to understand some jokes, and feels more comfortable in negotiating larger social contexts. She doesn't know how to describe her sudden desire to hug me, explaining that "I know hugs release oxytocin". 

She then reverts back to her normal self. She normally hates hugs and all forms of physical contact, and feels more comfortable in smaller social interactions where there is no need to negotiate so many conversations at once.

Does romance change ASD attributes in other people as well? 

Parents

  • I intensely dislike touching or being touched by people I do not know well. However, I am very physically affectionate with my family and close friends. The two states can co-exist in the same person, perhaps your girlfriend's attitude to physical contact has a temporal or situational aspect. I think that for most autistic people, the safer and less anxious we feel the greater our freedom to be spontaneous and take social/communication risks, perhaps this looks more NT.

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  • I intensely dislike touching or being touched by people I do not know well. However, I am very physically affectionate with my family and close friends. The two states can co-exist in the same person, perhaps your girlfriend's attitude to physical contact has a temporal or situational aspect. I think that for most autistic people, the safer and less anxious we feel the greater our freedom to be spontaneous and take social/communication risks, perhaps this looks more NT.

Children
  • in reply to Martin

    That is very true, yeh that makes a lot of sense :) 

    It know for a lot of times, she lets her guard down and shows her more ASD side with me. But in the rare occasion she does feel terrified that theres another person (me) who knows her ASD behaviours.

    It is interesting that you are only physically affectionate to family and close friends, I am like that too. And anyone I dont know well touching me can make me paralysed. Sweat smile