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Alcohol help

NAS82970

Hi, 

I’m looking for help to stop using alcohol as a coping mechanism. I have done this for years but only following my diagnosis have I begun to understand why I depend on it so much. I have tried and tried over the years to reduce my intake or to stop drinking altogether but it is as though the bottle always has the final say. 
I don’t drink every evening, but when I do it’s always too much. I’m burnt out by the time I get home and I feel like I have to pour myself a glass just to relax. I’m so ashamed and so desperate. 
I don’t want to drink anymore. Does anyone have any experience with this or know how I might find support that might help me to find a better way of coping? 

I haven’t accessed any kind of support since I was diagnosed, I’m not even sure what is out there. I haven’t talked to my family about ASD or alcohol - I’ve always been very private and worried that being open about my mental health will damage the relationships I have tried so hard to maintain over the years. My mum, my sister and my husband know I have ASD, but I don’t talk about it because I don’t want to seem like I’m focusing on myself too much. I’m rarely ever comfortable around anyone & I really wanted that to change, I wanted to see if I could finally be myself and let my guard down, so I tested the water by talking to my sister in law, but she immediately rejected my diagnosis, instead suggesting that I was probably a bit depressed rather than autistic! It really knocked my confidence, so I’m still hiding myself even with my close family. It’s exhausting, and lonely. 

I don’t know what to do, but I know that drinking isn’t the answer. 
Reaching out here because I can hide in anonymity while I admit just how desperate I really am.  

  • Hello, 

    it funny I clicked on your post I feel like we are in the same boat. I live in supported accommodation and sometimes people will put me down and judge me as a person who is making lots of excuses so I get how hard it must feel for you.  They haven't walked in my shoes, so they don't know how hard it feels and vise versa. I think the best advice for you is know you're not alone and clearly, you're not because you have had all these replies from people who are trying to help you. It can feel like that at times but deep down you're not. 

    When it comes to family it is very hard as well, I feel like my family don't take me seriously or at times back off or widraw themselves from me. I guess this is their problem and not mine but at the same time I think just by being more kind to yourself and accepting that this is the situation you're in it might reduce the depressive thoughts and anxiety. 

  • This is a big question and a big subject and it's something a lot of us (me included) struggle with and have to work hard every day to maintain.

    Three small practical things that have made a big difference in my life:

    - Have a few allocated days a week off the booze - it will lower your tolerance and slowly reduce the amount you need to get the same effect. If you fall off that schedule, that's OK - just try to get back on to the schedule as quickly as you can.

    - Look at some of the non-alcoholic beverages available now - that will still allow you the routine of having a drink but without the alcohol and the damage. There's loads of good options for beer and spirits. drydrinker.com is our fave.

    - Start counting the calories of what you drink and see how that stacks up compared to your suggested daily calorie count. There's apps to help make that easy. I was shocked by this.

    I hope some of this helps. Good luck.