Accepting Autism.

My son is now 16 and it took me a long time to come to terms with his diagnosis. Even now I get upset that he's never asked me all the questions that I was expecting when he was first born. My advice would be to get the best possible help for your son at a young age, speak to others (support groups make you realise that you're not alone) and above all alse, make sure that you and your wife make time to do things as a couple as you need to be strong and you can't do this without having a break and thinking about something else.

Hi J's dad (again!).  Don't beat yourself up.  Please take things 1 step at a time.  My son always went to autism specific schools.  I didn't regard them as units - they helped him loads + I mean loads.  He wouldn't have survived in mainstream, even with support. He had some respite over the years + then supported living.  He goes to all sorts of places - a few provided by social services but most just places where anyone else would go. 

Some wonderful responses there, which has now reduced me to tears. My wife seems to have accepted it and it appears I may have not, which is definitely causing strain on our new marriage. I am a manager within learning disabilities and work closely with adults with autism but I can't seem to make the connection that my son is now in the same boat. My son has had private therapies from a very young age IE speech therapy and PECS specialist etc. The educational side of things appears to be going wwill but I worry  once tried in mainstream he will end up in a unit (people keep enlightening me to this apparent 'fact') that kids with autism usually try mainstream schooling then end up in some sort of unit. I find myself watching videos on YouTube until 2am, self diagnosing this then undiagnosing that. We don't have a big family network and my mother finds it difficult at times because he just doesn't listen. Meltdowns are rare now but transition and change is massive. Thanks you for your kinds words I really do appreciatIMOIMO

You need a period of adjustment and acceptance for the autism, you may feel guilt that your son is autistic. There is a lot of help out there. The NAS can provide support and guidance. There is many parents in your situation, given time and assistance, things will get better. You have to stay strong for your son and learn as much as you can about the condition. It is good that his autism appears mild, so you will be able to relate more given time and the right resources. You and your wife are a loving parents and you's are still a family. Take one day at a time just now. It will be learning curve but you will cope.

hello - welcome.  It's a good move on your part to come on here, so visit when you can.  If I'm wrong about this, then apologies, but I get the feeling you haven't really accepted that your child will be diagnosed as autistic.  It can still be a shock, even if you're expecting it.  Everyone adjusts in their own time + in their own way, bit by bit.  I think the important thing is to learn about autism + how it affects your little boy, because it affects people in different ways + to different degrees.  With this understanding you should develop a better appreciation of how important you are as a dad to your son + also as a husband to your wife.  Remember that she is also trying to come to terms with this + you need each other's support.  How you + her react to this is very important to your relationship with each other + your child.  Your son is only 3 so have plenty of time to learn to talk.  My son didn't talk until he was 5 + then he said a 6 word response.  Please check out the home pg + the posts to help your understanding.  You can't learn everything at once, so do it bit by bit.  Your child really needs you to understand him - you can be invaluable to his development so you are important.

Also my son is communicating really well now he has had intense speech theripy since he was 17 months he didn't even babble up until that point or make eye contact he still doesn't like eye contact but can tell me now what he wants, has your little boy had any speech theripy? 

I got the best advice today simply he is your little boy will always be just now everybody else will understand him as u do my son is almost 5 and starting school in september this has been going on for 3 years of his life I don't have any answers for u all I can say is keep strong and together and get some knowledge about everything u need to know that's what I'm up to.

I've accepted it's Autism I think I've known for a while. I don't mind that he's different I just didn't expect any of this and the fact I don't seem to get much from him as a father upsets me immensely. He is non-verbal, though he says a few words now but not in context. He's a bright little boy and I'd probably say he possibly has mild autism rather than anything severe. Days out just seems to be sitting around with him obsessing over cars. I don't know how to describe it without sounding harsh. Bottom line is I hate it and I guess this is the first step coming on here and speaking about it.

Do you know what it is you're struggling with? Accpeting the diagnosis, the fact that your son is different or something else?