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Lack of daily routine

Deleted User

Does anyone have difficulty with having a lack of routine? I'm ok when I'm in work or have commitments but otherwise I seem to flim flam around. I notice other people are able to productively relax (eg I'm going to sit and watch a film then I'm going to do a work out) whereas I feel I act more on a whim. I'm getting some help to establish a better routine outside of working days because of a non autism related issue.  They've left me just to get on with it and plan myself which is fine because I know I need help with this but I feel there's an element of demand to it now. It's hard for me to establish a routine and very easy for it to unravel. Can anyone relate to it? 

Parents

  • Do you maybe have ADHD as well as autism? I think I have both. People who do describe the struggle with their autistic side wanting routine and benefiting from it but their ADHD side getting bored with it and refusing to follow it!

    I have some routines which do not have a set time but a time of day, like my morning routing doesn't involve a specific waking up time and some steps can take a varying amount of time, but the order is generally followed. I can struggle to move on to the next stage sometimes, especially from the being in bed reading to the getting out of bed to eat part, even if I feel hungry. Autistic inertia!

    I can totally relate to flim flamming around! Unless the day has a thing already decided, a lesson or appointment, or the food shop or the weather is good so we shall cycle, I tend to drift or end up just watching telly or being on the computer. It is really hard to make myself do actual things like the car tax or whatever.

    I do have a list but am very bad at looking at it! I sometimes forget to look at it and sometimes just don't want to.

    I totally resist my husband trying to impose any further routine. Like doing the laundry on Mondays or whatever. Partly because my energy levels fluctuate and cycling is weather dependent - no way am I going to not cycle to do laundry instead! But even if he just wants a decision like shall we watch this thing on telly at half seven. I'm like maybe, but it might be earlier or later. I am so glad we have catchup now and are no longer subject to the tyranny of the TV schedule! I'm not sure if this is ADHD or demand avoidance.

    I do wonder whether I should try to impose some kind of further routine of my own choosing, but I am dubious it would work. 

  • in reply to AuTriker

    https://youtu.be/pMx1DnSn-eg I have just come across this video and its certainly food for thought! I have 2 friends with ADHD and another who has mentioned the possibility in themselves. I have always related well to this youtuber, more so than many others. Hmm...!

    Re dual diagnosis, it's interesting how she said you can feel contradicted by yourself and also how the traits can cancel each other out. I do have quite a need for novelty but sameness at the same time. 

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  • in reply to AuTriker

    https://youtu.be/pMx1DnSn-eg I have just come across this video and its certainly food for thought! I have 2 friends with ADHD and another who has mentioned the possibility in themselves. I have always related well to this youtuber, more so than many others. Hmm...!

    Re dual diagnosis, it's interesting how she said you can feel contradicted by yourself and also how the traits can cancel each other out. I do have quite a need for novelty but sameness at the same time. 

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    Yes, I do relate to that. Novelty and sameness! Motorhoming is my ideal holiday as I get to take my own safe comfy environment with me to new locations. Only problem can be outside noise, but that can happen at home. And my hobby of language learning - a new language is novel but it is still a language and has familiar features. I do have stable long term special interests and other short or medium terms one, or ones I am sometimes into and sometimes not.

    I was struck by what she said about being at home the ADHD traits come out more but when out the autistic traits come out more. Food for thought.