Alexithymia -- Difficulty Feeling Emotions

Not sure if this adds to your thoughtful post.

Luftmentsch said:

I often struggle to understand or describe them, especially if they’re subtle or conflicted

This. And I find, complicating matters, the conflicted emotions make me often inert - so I seem indecisive or not considering what is the issue in front of me - as the emotions inside esculate and overwhelm.

Luftmentsch said:

particularly the terrible trio of depression, anxiety and despair

The unholy trinity. I remember an argument when someone said I cultivate these - my response was that these are the most certain and clear. 

Luftmentsch said:

A lot of the time I feel rather numb and blank, sometimes with a faint undertone of mild depression or mild anxiety.

This has been a frequent experience - to the extent that moments of being present are sometimes hauntingly interrupted by a sense this will reappear.

Luftmentsch said:

My main way of processing emotions is through writing. I’ve written a journal-type blog most days since 2006 (excluding an eighteen month period where I stopped) and that helps me process the events of the day, as well as get feedback from my small, but supportive readership. This probably sounds strange, but sometimes I don’t really know how I feel about things until I write them down. I’ve tried private journaling, but somehow I need a sense of an audience, even a very small one, to give me the impetus to communicate. If I can’t write on one day for some reason, I tend to carry around all the thoughts of that day with me and feel a need to offload.

This doesn't seem strange: this sounds like a good process. (I personally find with such attempts I either start looping back to old issues or I find it difficult to state anything beyond the concrete, e.g. X happened, but not what I feel about it or what it signifies/means - but that is because, perhaps, I have difficulty imagining an audience.) An unintended aspect - I can, looking at my handwriting, see a descent into certain emotions.

Luftmentsch said:

I write fiction to try to understand bigger emotions, including ones that I haven’t personally experienced. I’ve always read a lot too and I think that’s probably an attempt to learn about emotions, on some level. I guess I get that from TV and film too, although I find modern TV and film overwhelming in its amplified display of emotions sometimes, at least what I see of it (which isn’t much).

Books and films were - and to some extent, are - for me a method to explore my own emotions.

Not sure if this adds to your thoughtful post.

Luftmentsch said:

I often struggle to understand or describe them, especially if they’re subtle or conflicted

This. And I find, complicating matters, the conflicted emotions make me often inert - so I seem indecisive or not considering what is the issue in front of me - as the emotions inside esculate and overwhelm.

Luftmentsch said:

particularly the terrible trio of depression, anxiety and despair

The unholy trinity. I remember an argument when someone said I cultivate these - my response was that these are the most certain and clear. 

Luftmentsch said:

A lot of the time I feel rather numb and blank, sometimes with a faint undertone of mild depression or mild anxiety.

This has been a frequent experience - to the extent that moments of being present are sometimes hauntingly interrupted by a sense this will reappear.

Luftmentsch said:

My main way of processing emotions is through writing. I’ve written a journal-type blog most days since 2006 (excluding an eighteen month period where I stopped) and that helps me process the events of the day, as well as get feedback from my small, but supportive readership. This probably sounds strange, but sometimes I don’t really know how I feel about things until I write them down. I’ve tried private journaling, but somehow I need a sense of an audience, even a very small one, to give me the impetus to communicate. If I can’t write on one day for some reason, I tend to carry around all the thoughts of that day with me and feel a need to offload.

This doesn't seem strange: this sounds like a good process. (I personally find with such attempts I either start looping back to old issues or I find it difficult to state anything beyond the concrete, e.g. X happened, but not what I feel about it or what it signifies/means - but that is because, perhaps, I have difficulty imagining an audience.) An unintended aspect - I can, looking at my handwriting, see a descent into certain emotions.

Luftmentsch said:

I write fiction to try to understand bigger emotions, including ones that I haven’t personally experienced. I’ve always read a lot too and I think that’s probably an attempt to learn about emotions, on some level. I guess I get that from TV and film too, although I find modern TV and film overwhelming in its amplified display of emotions sometimes, at least what I see of it (which isn’t much).

Books and films were - and to some extent, are - for me a method to explore my own emotions.