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Scripting and rehearsing conversations

NAS81317

Hey everyone. Having also read recently about the concept of scripting and rehearsing conversations in advance apparently being common in autism, I'm interested what this place has to say about it. 

In what ways do you script and rehearse conversations in advance? Personally, I really relate to rehearsing what to say in advance, but it's never felt because of social anxiety. 

I have fake conversations in my head all the time, even for ones that probably won't happen. My head feels like a letter box fulled with separate future conversations that I know I'll need to make and even for former friends who aren't around anymore. Even speaking to my family members requires planned conversation in advance, I have no idea how normal people can have spontaneous conversation for hours on end. 

I can only think of what to say in life, I don't feel authentic and never have. I'll prepare phrases, topics and even jokes sometimes. If I stopped planning, I wouldn't have anything to say. 

Does any of this sound on someone on the spectrum? Thanks 

Parents

  • Yes.  I used to script a lot more and I'm sure it was linked to masking, especially when feeling unsafe but then radiating out into even "safe" situations, simply because I forgot where I ended and the mask began.

    Some of this was memorised phrases, anecdotes and questions but I also wrote things down quite a bit and planned important conversations by noting down bullet points or drawing mindmaps to help me along if this was over the phone.  Underlying all this was always great fear - of not being accepted, of being judged or viewed as incompetent or weak - whilst trying to throw people off the scent by projecting the exact opposite, a confident person, comfortable in the world.  

    To an extent it's been useful for me, keeping me in employment or in valued relationships, but as I got older, I found myself feeling angry that I'd not really felt OK to just be myself.  So, although I still do this to some extent, I'm better at managing without my "safety net" and choosing when it's really needed. 

Reply

  • Yes.  I used to script a lot more and I'm sure it was linked to masking, especially when feeling unsafe but then radiating out into even "safe" situations, simply because I forgot where I ended and the mask began.

    Some of this was memorised phrases, anecdotes and questions but I also wrote things down quite a bit and planned important conversations by noting down bullet points or drawing mindmaps to help me along if this was over the phone.  Underlying all this was always great fear - of not being accepted, of being judged or viewed as incompetent or weak - whilst trying to throw people off the scent by projecting the exact opposite, a confident person, comfortable in the world.  

    To an extent it's been useful for me, keeping me in employment or in valued relationships, but as I got older, I found myself feeling angry that I'd not really felt OK to just be myself.  So, although I still do this to some extent, I'm better at managing without my "safety net" and choosing when it's really needed. 

Children
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