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I think I'm autistic

NAS82728

Hi, 

     My adopted first child was diagnosed with severe autism. When reading his contact letters from his adopters he sounds just like me. He was quiet non verbal til he was 5 and has the same hobbies I had when I was young.

I have always been quite an unsociable person and have always only had a very small number of friends. Routine is extremely important to me and when things change in my life like change if meals I eat, change of colleagues, changes in routine I become very anxious, i feel helpless and powerless that things are out of my control.

I have never been officially diagnosed as autistic, not do I want to be as I'm high functioning with a second child, boyfriend and a full time job.

However, I think it would be beneficial for me to talk to adults with autism that I can relate to instead of very sociable adults that I feel I can't fit in with sometimes.

Id also like some advice on coping with change. Please be kind as I'm new to all of this and it's taken me about 10 years to have the courage to admit this to myself and seek support.

Thanks.

Hannah

Parents

  • I found a very late diagnosis - aged 59 - was very useful for me, even though I worked for 34 years as a scientific researcher, not an undemanding job, and am married with two children (both neurodivergent). I have received no practical support since being diagnosed, but the diagnosis was a validation of my experiences through life. I was not a neurotypical person with a lot of strange individual quirks and limitations, but an autistic person whose abilities and difficulties were directly related to my autism. Without a clinical diagnosis my identification as autistic would always have felt uncertain and possibly wrong. I like certainty, in itself an autistic trait.

    Autistic people who appear to function in 'neurotypical society' still have problems, which is why so many of us have poor mental health. 

  • in reply to Martin

    I can identify so much with that need to know. Even self-diagnosis with a bit more  certainty could be very psychologically beneficial to you Hannah, so don’t fear claiming ownership of an autistic identity. It’s not a deficiency, it’s a difference. And you deserve to be more at peace with it, even if life’s struggles will always remain. 

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  • in reply to Martin

    I can identify so much with that need to know. Even self-diagnosis with a bit more  certainty could be very psychologically beneficial to you Hannah, so don’t fear claiming ownership of an autistic identity. It’s not a deficiency, it’s a difference. And you deserve to be more at peace with it, even if life’s struggles will always remain. 

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