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Unresolved issue and autistic inertia

Autonomistic

My mind is stuck on a particular issue today and I don't know how to get it to move on.

The issue itself relates to a delivery of a large kitchen appliance yesterday which did not go to plan. The delivery men, who were supposed to install it, just dumped the item and left. I spent the best part of 6 hours yesterday on various live chats with the retailer trying to resolve it. Despite my best efforts I did not get anywhere. I tried again this morning but the department dealing with it is now closed until Monday.

At this stage I can do no more to change the situation and need to try and put it out of my mind until Monday. The trouble is I cannot. The matter is unresolved in my mind and I am constantly thinking about it. My brain simply doesn't want to move onto anything else until this is resolved.

I don't think this is just negative rumination. Best laid plans are often derailed by unexpected problems and this is something autistic people find difficult. Being unable to return focus to whatever it was I was supposed to be doing is something I really struggle with. I believe this is autistic inertia, an inability to move on from one focus to another.

This was not supposed to be my focus this weekend. I had other plans. Nothing special, just sorting out and listing some stuff on eBay. However try as I might I cannot get my mind to focus on that task or anything else. Sometimes when this happens I can distract my mind from the situation with sudoku or number puzzles. However even that doesn't seem to be working today.

Can anyone else relate to thinking like this? Any tips for how to switch thinking would be appreciated. What I usually end up doing in this sort of situation is absolutely nothing, which leads to feeling bad about myself for not having achieved what I intended to do.

Parents

  • I can completely relate to this - it's one of the toughest parts of my autism and my struggle with my own mental health.

    The effects can last far longer than the trigger event itself - sometimes I'm grinding things round for days and weeks and long after 'the thing' is finished or over or forgotten everywhere but inside my head.

    Unfortunately - having to interface with the NT world doesn't make it any easier!

    The technique that has helped me the most is the idea of 'cognitive diffusion' - I'll let you look that up yourself if you're interested but my understanding is basically about not getting so caught up in your thoughts that they become more real and more dominant - i.e. demanding on your time and your senses - than your actual reality.

Reply

  • I can completely relate to this - it's one of the toughest parts of my autism and my struggle with my own mental health.

    The effects can last far longer than the trigger event itself - sometimes I'm grinding things round for days and weeks and long after 'the thing' is finished or over or forgotten everywhere but inside my head.

    Unfortunately - having to interface with the NT world doesn't make it any easier!

    The technique that has helped me the most is the idea of 'cognitive diffusion' - I'll let you look that up yourself if you're interested but my understanding is basically about not getting so caught up in your thoughts that they become more real and more dominant - i.e. demanding on your time and your senses - than your actual reality.

Children
  • in reply to NAS90609

    Thank you very much for raising "cognitive diffusion" as it is not a term I have come across.  I've just made a cursory pass at some information on it and it sounds very interesting - and potentially helpful to me.  Knowledge is power.  Thank you.

  • in reply to NAS90609

    I'll look up that technique, thank you. It sounds similar to some of the concepts I was taught on a mindfulness course, such as observing thoughts floating by on clouds. I didn't really get it at the time.

    My logical mind sees a current issue as unresolved and therefore 'needing' my attention. That is the most important task at the current time and therefore highest priority in my mind. Once it has been resolved and if I'm still thinking about it weeks later then such techniques might be more helpful.