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Not being allowed to be diffrent

NAS65321

Hi I am 52 and only found out about ASD two years ago. I always knew I was diffrent and as a kid unless you were disruptive at school nobody ever really looked hard. I was a sickly child and at one point there was talk of sending me to the 'special' school which I fought against. Looking back they may have found my ASD there? Anyway I was never allowed to be anything less than 'normal' as a child. I was a very average child and was never disruptive or in trouble.

I just wonder how things could have been diffrent? Outwardly I am married, have a mortgage, always had a job, and have no kids by choice (probably down to ASD). But have always spent a life masking and trying to fit in, which is exhausting. I guess I am not alone in being like this at this age? I am wondering how would have my life had been diffrent with an early diagnosis? Alternativley how would things be diffrent now if there was no such thing as a ASD diagnosis now and everybody was just left to get on with it?

Rob

Parents

  • I find the title to this post interesting when you say 'not allowed'.

    I've always felt the same, but in hindsight, it's that I've always just listened to the negative commentary to when I was acting 'different'. I now know I was just being myself.

    So for me it's been about cultivating the strength, and presence of mind, in those situations when I'm questioned to realise, it's not me that's the issue, it's the context I find myself in, so instead of changing my behaviour, I should instead change the context - and leave, most often.

    This can be challenging, especially as many of those instances are from being around my family. But I have to find places that are more accepting of the way I am, however tough that is.

    Often, it just means I need to be content in being with myself and knowing that is ok too

Reply

  • I find the title to this post interesting when you say 'not allowed'.

    I've always felt the same, but in hindsight, it's that I've always just listened to the negative commentary to when I was acting 'different'. I now know I was just being myself.

    So for me it's been about cultivating the strength, and presence of mind, in those situations when I'm questioned to realise, it's not me that's the issue, it's the context I find myself in, so instead of changing my behaviour, I should instead change the context - and leave, most often.

    This can be challenging, especially as many of those instances are from being around my family. But I have to find places that are more accepting of the way I am, however tough that is.

    Often, it just means I need to be content in being with myself and knowing that is ok too

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