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I've just walked out of a job

Jo81790

and i just don't know how to cope with working with people.  It was a factory job and I enjoyed the job but not the people.  I dislike the back stabbing that seems to happen.  I'm a peaceful person and just want to be happy and get on with the job in a good atmosphere.  Our manager was speaking to our supervisor and saying about training. The supervisor then spoke to one of our team and said there is training at such and such time today. I didn't really take much notice as they were not talking to me directly.  Then the time came and I was called to come for training.  Not realising that it was meant for me aswell I got panicky and after following them upstairs and waiting around it got worse so I went out.  I saw my supervisor and asked her why she didn't tell me about this training and that I was panicking about it. she took me outside and I tried to control my panic but was swearing aswell.  We went back inside and i went back to work and she went to speak to the manager.  Next thing I know the manager wanted to speak to me.  We went into another room and he asked me why I was swearing at my supervisor.  Having not fully gotten over the last panic, I panicked again and tried to explain that I wasnt swearing at her, I was just swearing to get it out.  She had obviously told him that I was swearing at her.  I tried to explain to him that I was trying to communicate with her and ask her why she didnt talk to me about the training beforehand, like she did with the other lady. and this is what lead to my panic.  im confused now about all of it, but it resulted in me going. v tired of it all now.

Parents

  • This stuff is born of a fundamental lack of understanding:

    They didn't understand that you wouldn't realise the training included you unless they directly said so

    They didn't realise that a social situation like that would make you anxious likely to tip into panic

    They didn't realise how panicked we get when taken by surprise

    They didn't realise that when the frustration and the fear erupts, it's not targeted at anyone

    NTs won't realise unless someone educates them. Do they know you are autistic? If you sat down calmly with them now that the immediate shock is over, perhaps with a union rep, could you educate them now as to how to avoid this in future. For example, that an invitation to training needs to be given directly and explicitly to you with plenty of time to prepare and with no pressure to interact if it's uncomfortable.

    It would be a shame to give up a job you like if they could learn to make things better for you. Also, it's not in their interest to ignore you either, they are missing out on your skill and enthusiasm.

    That said, I am in no way wishing to invalidate your feeling. I've been in thoes situations too. All you are asking for is better communication in the first place. Not a big ask. But to them...they can't see what's wrong.

  • in reply to Dawn

    Wow, fantastic write up, thank you for that.  I don't think I am strong enough to educate them tbh. I may try to get back to the NHS which I left about a year ago thinking I needed to run, not realising that I was probably in the best place to get help.  I just hope they can see through the low self esteem.

  • in reply to Jo81790

    I hope so too. The NHS, in fact, is where we are needed most.

    I've had horrific experiences as a patient when my autism was not recognised, some of them just like your work situation, but I am pro-actively putting myself forward to help them get it right for thoes that follow me.

    They can't get better at helping us, if we don't help them. You could be a godsend to autistic NHS patients who need your understanding and to the colleagues who could learn from you.

    Good luck 

  • in reply to Jo81790

    Getting there now I've got a diagnosis :-)

  • in reply to Dawn

    I hope so too. Thanks for your support.  I obviously don't know your life, but hope you are well and happy.

  • in reply to Jo81790

    NHS has a bit of a recruitment crisis post pandemic, hope that works well in your favour

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