• Replies 22 replies
  • Subscribers 88 subscribers
  • Views 4516 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Better/Worse

Luftmentsch

A therapist once remarked that I have a lot of “ladder” thinking, i.e. I’m “more/less X than other people.”

I’ve noticed that I’m the same reading posts here: if other people are more functional than me e.g. full-time employed, I say to myself, “I’m so useless, why can’t I be that functional?”

But if they are less functional than me e.g. not employed at all, not in a relationship (1), then I feel , “I’m not ‘really’ autistic, I’m too functional, I’m just malingering, I should be able to do more than I’m doing now.” I can’t win either way!

(I say this on a day when I'm pretty much non-functional after a very stressful week, and feeling I should be doing more.)

Does anyone else feel like this?

(1) It still feels like a ridiculous fluke that I’m actually in a relationship and getting married after decades of mostly being single, but I can’t deny that it’s happening.

Parents

  • stop comparing yourself to others it's allistic thingy

    each of us is different

    we have spiky skill sets

    sometimes we manage to find niche for them

    functional / non-functional varies for each of us, depending on ''weather'', mood, time of year, and other unrelated reasons Smiley what I'm trying to say it is often not up to us, because we've been denied lots of things, and we do not always notice it happened,

    e.g. I was applying for jobs/ internships for autistic people where they ask to confirm that person applying was diagnosed autistic, jobs seemingly for us, only to find out after many unsuccessful attempts that those jobs are advertised elsewhere as well, and for everyone, so it was all the time popularity contest against allistic, more than that, during last one I asked if they hired any autistic previously and it was a no, so they were advertising themselves at our expense, to look politically correct, with no intention of hiring autistic. I devoted over a year to do that before I noticed

     is right, we mask and conceal from outsideworld how much struggle and turmoil is inside us, not many get to see past the mask

Reply

  • stop comparing yourself to others it's allistic thingy

    each of us is different

    we have spiky skill sets

    sometimes we manage to find niche for them

    functional / non-functional varies for each of us, depending on ''weather'', mood, time of year, and other unrelated reasons Smiley what I'm trying to say it is often not up to us, because we've been denied lots of things, and we do not always notice it happened,

    e.g. I was applying for jobs/ internships for autistic people where they ask to confirm that person applying was diagnosed autistic, jobs seemingly for us, only to find out after many unsuccessful attempts that those jobs are advertised elsewhere as well, and for everyone, so it was all the time popularity contest against allistic, more than that, during last one I asked if they hired any autistic previously and it was a no, so they were advertising themselves at our expense, to look politically correct, with no intention of hiring autistic. I devoted over a year to do that before I noticed

     is right, we mask and conceal from outsideworld how much struggle and turmoil is inside us, not many get to see past the mask

Children