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Better/Worse

Luftmentsch

A therapist once remarked that I have a lot of “ladder” thinking, i.e. I’m “more/less X than other people.”

I’ve noticed that I’m the same reading posts here: if other people are more functional than me e.g. full-time employed, I say to myself, “I’m so useless, why can’t I be that functional?”

But if they are less functional than me e.g. not employed at all, not in a relationship (1), then I feel , “I’m not ‘really’ autistic, I’m too functional, I’m just malingering, I should be able to do more than I’m doing now.” I can’t win either way!

(I say this on a day when I'm pretty much non-functional after a very stressful week, and feeling I should be doing more.)

Does anyone else feel like this?

(1) It still feels like a ridiculous fluke that I’m actually in a relationship and getting married after decades of mostly being single, but I can’t deny that it’s happening.

Parents

  • Yes, I think now that you mention it I do that a lot: I compare myself to other people and then feel inadequate- for example a lot of my friends have finished or are about to finish their PhDs, whereas I have not even started yet - which then makes me feel like a failure. Rationally I know that it is not useful to compare as situations vary so much, it is really not an appropriate comparison to make but I still do it. 

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  • Yes, I think now that you mention it I do that a lot: I compare myself to other people and then feel inadequate- for example a lot of my friends have finished or are about to finish their PhDs, whereas I have not even started yet - which then makes me feel like a failure. Rationally I know that it is not useful to compare as situations vary so much, it is really not an appropriate comparison to make but I still do it. 

Children