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Disliking ''How are you?''

Mariusz

It happened in an unexpected way as always, the end of reasoning and final conclusion to ''Why I don't like being asked how I feel'' stopped me on a way to the toilet. Stuck out tongue

I know why now. It does not matter if I'm good or bad at the moment of being asked, and it was leading my reasoning astray, I was wrong to think I don't like it only when I'm not good. The truth is, I would never be allowed to give full answer. It would have been interrupted with one of many reasons, e.g. stop complaining, you're weirdo, and giving half an answer is misleading. I've felt bad after, or worse than before, and I couldn't tell why exactly, or what I feel, but  I identified that feeling at last, as feeling like a liar.

It's funny as most of the time any answer to that question is a lie, and they keep forcing us to do it. So, the answer was right in front of me, congrats Mr Hilary

I begun to practise dodging answering, we'll see how it goes.

Parents

  • When people ask me I just say "I'm ok" and they leave it at that. I'm not good at small talk - any talk actually. I don't say a lot, which does work in my favour as it means people don't ask me awkward things like this.

    Questions like this are hard for me. I always give the short answer which isn't true, I'm never ok. But I don't know what to say or how to explain myself.

  • in reply to Stacia

    I don't know what to say when they want to small talk as well. I wonder if there is one autistic who can do it with a stranger. I'm good at talking, but about things I want to share or know something about, so smalltalking makes me feel: ''Run Forrest, run !!!''. 

  • in reply to Mariusz

    I like talking to strangers, I find people fascinating. Small talk with strangers is much easier because there's no commitment. I can do it on my terms otherwise I can feel suspicious (what do they want from me?)

    With familiar people, masking has led to people opening up to me with the whole "how are you?" greeting, when really I'm not interested. It's often the other way round for me. I'm playing their game and being polite but end up with chapter and verse about their life. It's confusing because they are not playing by their own rules!

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  • in reply to Mariusz

    I like talking to strangers, I find people fascinating. Small talk with strangers is much easier because there's no commitment. I can do it on my terms otherwise I can feel suspicious (what do they want from me?)

    With familiar people, masking has led to people opening up to me with the whole "how are you?" greeting, when really I'm not interested. It's often the other way round for me. I'm playing their game and being polite but end up with chapter and verse about their life. It's confusing because they are not playing by their own rules!

Children