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Disliking ''How are you?''

Mariusz

It happened in an unexpected way as always, the end of reasoning and final conclusion to ''Why I don't like being asked how I feel'' stopped me on a way to the toilet. Stuck out tongue

I know why now. It does not matter if I'm good or bad at the moment of being asked, and it was leading my reasoning astray, I was wrong to think I don't like it only when I'm not good. The truth is, I would never be allowed to give full answer. It would have been interrupted with one of many reasons, e.g. stop complaining, you're weirdo, and giving half an answer is misleading. I've felt bad after, or worse than before, and I couldn't tell why exactly, or what I feel, but  I identified that feeling at last, as feeling like a liar.

It's funny as most of the time any answer to that question is a lie, and they keep forcing us to do it. So, the answer was right in front of me, congrats Mr Hilary

I begun to practise dodging answering, we'll see how it goes.

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  • I don’t like the phrase ‘how are you?’ too, like other people have said it just seems pointless. It’s a phrase that is usually just empty because neurotypical people sometimes don’t know how to respond if you don’t give the expected answer such as ‘I’m fine or good’.

    I could talk about how I don’t like this phrase for ages because it’s incredibly vague and the majority of the time I don’t actually know how I feel. If I was to answer this question with ‘I don’t know’ the conversation could evolve into something that becomes uncomfortable.

    Also, the reason why this phrase seems pointless for many of us in this autistic community is because we process language differently. According to Rachel Cullen an autistic trainer and advocate, we autistic people process words in a sentence in finer detail. On the other hand, non autistic people process the question as a whole. Cullen calls this the autistic pragmatic language hypothesis. 

    This article and video explains the hypothesis better:

    https://aucademy.co.uk/theories-about-autistic-experience/

    https://youtu.be/qxjTIqrSp-o

  • in reply to Ausomely Autistic

    Just another thought- like other autistic people have said my answers or my intended response  to this question affirm my autistic processing style.

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