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The passing of the Queen and period of mourning

Billy87

Im very sad at the passing of the Queen, I felt like crying when I heard the news today. She seemed like a lovely lady and we all felt like we knew her a bit. I get sad when anyone passes away and I feel terribly sorry for her family.

I do feel a bit confused at everything that's happened since though. The idea of 10 days of compulsory mourning really bothers me. I hate being told how to feel and the idea that we are being told to be sad for 10 days feels very wrong and totalitarian. Weve had two years of lockdowns and hundreds of thousands of people have buried their loved ones due to the pandemic, people are starving and unable to pay their bills. Forcing us to be even sadder and cancelling the few events and sports etc that cheer people up at this awful, tough time in life feels quite cruel. 

Im actually feeling really depressed at the thought of it all

I feel like Im being an awful person for thinking these things but none of this makes sense to me and I have to get that out somewhere

Really hope I havnt offended anyone. I have a lot of respect for the Queen and I am sad at her passing

Parents
  • Billy87 said:
    The idea of 10 days of compulsory mourning really bothers me. I hate being told how to feel and the idea that we are being told to be sad for 10 days feels very wrong and totalitarian.

    A very long time ago and probably in an attempt to get me to tune into my emotions and how they were triggered, one of my therapists paused and said to me, "If it feels wrong, it probably is!"  Now I'm not sure it always is, but it certainly made me pause for thought and to me, in this situation, this absolutely does feel wrong! 

    I appreciate that many will be saddened by the news but most of the media and news outlets have gone into hyperdrive and there's little space left for anything else.  So yes, this feels imposed, unjustifiable and also very unbalanced.  I'll admit, I'm not a monarchist so this might well underpin my responses on this subject, but I'm human and have experienced a fair amount of loss and grief.  So I understand the all-too-human need to mourn and, in the case of high profile deaths, for people to collectively express their grief.  But to me this all feels over the top, engineered and then fanned by the media.  Then, in its extremity, I think it also becomes strangely inauthentic, like a parody.  And this triggers disbelief in me, rather than sadness, combined with the feeling of standing on the outside of society.   

    Has it become something else entirely and I too am just not getting it?  Or are we absolutely getting it and having an "Emperor's New Clothes" moment?      

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  • Billy87 said:
    The idea of 10 days of compulsory mourning really bothers me. I hate being told how to feel and the idea that we are being told to be sad for 10 days feels very wrong and totalitarian.

    A very long time ago and probably in an attempt to get me to tune into my emotions and how they were triggered, one of my therapists paused and said to me, "If it feels wrong, it probably is!"  Now I'm not sure it always is, but it certainly made me pause for thought and to me, in this situation, this absolutely does feel wrong! 

    I appreciate that many will be saddened by the news but most of the media and news outlets have gone into hyperdrive and there's little space left for anything else.  So yes, this feels imposed, unjustifiable and also very unbalanced.  I'll admit, I'm not a monarchist so this might well underpin my responses on this subject, but I'm human and have experienced a fair amount of loss and grief.  So I understand the all-too-human need to mourn and, in the case of high profile deaths, for people to collectively express their grief.  But to me this all feels over the top, engineered and then fanned by the media.  Then, in its extremity, I think it also becomes strangely inauthentic, like a parody.  And this triggers disbelief in me, rather than sadness, combined with the feeling of standing on the outside of society.   

    Has it become something else entirely and I too am just not getting it?  Or are we absolutely getting it and having an "Emperor's New Clothes" moment?      

Children
  • in reply to Jenny Butterfly
    Jenny Butterfly said:
    Then, in its extremity, I think it also becomes strangely inauthentic, like a parody.  And this triggers disbelief in me, rather than sadness, combined with the feeling of standing on the outside of society.   

    This is exactly how I feel. It does feel inauthentic, almost like everyone has to feel this. Some people will feel it but the ones that dont seem like they have to pretend. It is very strange to me

    I always feel on the outside of how "the nation" is feeling anyway,, whether its sad events like this or celebrations like Christmas or England doing well at the World Cup. I always hear about " the mood of the nation" but I never seem to get why people feel how they do and I dont naturally feel the same

  • in reply to Jenny Butterfly

    I think the media do fan a lot and play on the reactions of the general public. I have noticed from some quite random social media posts in recent weeks that people seem to be losing the ability to think for themselves as well (maybe it was never there and I haven’t noticed until now) One of my very few memories of Princess Diana’s funeral was my Mum’s exasperation at the people in the crowd crying hysterically “why are they so upset she wasn’t their relative or friend” although that was in far more tragic circumstances it does seem weird to be so upset about someone you didn’t actually know